“It’s almost the same, but somehow better,” I say. “How did you do this?”
“That’s what we were going for. We think the kids need to have a pared-down experience but didn’t think they needed to feel like they were living in converted army barracks.”
“Converted Soviet army barracks,” I say, and she laughs.
“Exactly. And there’s going to be a lot of wear and tear. Kids are kids, so we didn’t get too fancy, but I hope it feels more welcoming thanourfirst summer here.”
“It’ll probably help with the first couple days of homesickness.” By about day four, even the most homesick campers had figured out that beneath the no-frills accommodations seethed a hive of adventure and warmth and fun, but more welcoming cabins might get them there faster.
“Prepare to have your mind truly blown,” Natalie says, pointing to the floor near the back wall.
“Holy…” This time I don’t even finish the thought, just walk over and touch the compact air conditioner.
“I know it’s tempting to worship it as a god but pull yourself together.”
I look over my shoulder, unwilling to let it go. “What I wouldn’t have given back in our counselor days…”
“Believe me, I know. That’s why we put them in. Come on and I’ll show you the grounds.”
She tells me about other upgrades and improvements, but she only has half my attention at best. Sawyer memories take over again.
There’s the field where I’d led my cabin of girls to victory over his boys in the color wars. And there’s the old fire ring where the counselors spent the last night together after a long day of cleaning up and packing to leave in the morning.
Ben would play his guitar, and it would always take Sawyer two to three songs before he’d relax enough to join in with his steady baritone.
There’s the flagpole, of course, the site of the most epic prank in camp history, andI’dcome out the winner that time. And there’s the Moon Rock trailhead.
For the trail no one was supposed to know about or use, it had always been the most well-beaten one.
I tear my eyes away. I’m not ready for that memory yet.
“Anyway,” Natalie says, “I think you’ll be pleased, and so far, everything you’ve ordered has come in without a problem.”
I blink at her, trying to catch up. “Sorry?”
“All the food? It came in without a problem.”
“Oh, right.” I give myself a slight shake.
“I’m saving the kitchen for last, but what do you think of the rest?” Natalie asks. “Be honest. I can tell when you’re lying anyway.”
“It looks amazing.” It’s the truth. “I can’t believe what you’ve done with the place. It’s exactly what I would want summer camp to be if I was coming here for the first time.”
“Thanks.” Pride tinges her smile. “We’ve worked hard on it.”
I hesitate but decide to plunge ahead. “About Sawyer…”
She gives me a questioning look.
I slide my hands into the pockets of my shorts. “I sat on the dock and chased out old memories. It went okay.”
“Yeah?” It’s an invitation to share more.
“Yeah. I’ve made that last day with him bigger than it needed to be. I thought he’d broken my heart past fixing but check me out.” I wave a hand to indicate my whole body. “I’m at the scene of his emotional hit-and-run, and I’m doing fine. Feeling good, even. Don’t worry about it anymore this week, okay? I want you to enjoy it. Out with the old memories and in with new ones.”
Her eyes twinkle. “Fire ceremony?”
I laugh. We’d held those during the last week of every session for the campers, a chance to symbolically throw whatever they wanted in the fire: fears, grudges, misbeliefs.
