Kit’s shoulders remained tense even as he nodded.
“I’m serious. You’re a giant positive in everything that’s happened. All of this was worth it to meet you.” Nick only registered what he said after. After he’d taken a bundle of emotions he’d been refusing to look at head-on and threw them onto the table for both of them to pore over.
Kit met Nick’s eyes, surprise flashing across his face, chased by a deep flush. Kit’s throat bobbed in a swallow, and he abandoned his rigid posture to lean in. His elbows found the table, and he reached out, as if trying to touch Nick’s exposed feelings with his gloved hands. Fortunately for Nick, Kit had proven himself remarkably gentle when left to his natural state.
“I believe bringing the ire of the merfolk upon my head was a fair trade to meet you as well,” Kit murmured. A slow smile crept across his mouth. Pleased. Shy.
Nick stared at that smile. It was unspooling something inside him. Unravelling a tightness that had taken up residence in his chest months ago and had settled in for a long stay.
It clicked in Nick’s head.
“It’s worth it.”
“What is?”
“The risk.” Nick turned up his palm, asking, and Kit slid, not his tail, but his hand over his, tickling his fingers with a light touch. “If Adonis had taken off, if Connor had decided the ocean wasn’t for him, and we’d all stayed safely tucked away in our own world, I wouldn’t have met you.”
Kit watched Nick closely as he spoke, and the emotion that filled his eyes was one Nick couldn’t name. Kit’s hand dropped to cover Nick’s, fingers curling until he washoldingNick’s hand. Pushing through his monstrous fear of someone touching his hands. “You believe that your nightmares, your fears, are worth it…because of me?”
Kit understood at once what he’d meant. Not that his fear had vanished, but that Kit mattered more than it did. Nick’s gazeslid to Kit’s hand grasping his. Gloved and lightly trembling. His tail was tight on Nick’s leg, anxious, but he kept holding on to Nick anyway. Of course Kit understood him.
“Yeah, Kit. I do.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Kit hovered behind his chair as Nick wrote the letter, providing tips on using the ink and quill so no ink blots obscured his message. Finished, Nick leaned back to examine the parchment in the candlelight. His inner wrist had burned the entire time he’d been writing, and he knew from the way it tingled now that what he’d written wasn’t all in English. It was a mix. He had to trust that someone who understood both languages would get their hands on it. Connor and Adonis were fluent; Laurence could probably decipher most of it by now.
Beneath their bedroom window, the courtyard sounds had settled into a quiet, calm night. Kit leaned in, the chair creaking under their dual weight as he pressed against Nick’s shoulders. He scanned the page. “Done?”
Nick reread the letter. He explained about the symbols on his arms and why they couldn’t find him—leaving out why they were hiding him from mermen, of course. That wasn’t a conversation to be had by letter. He included a marked map that Kit had fetched for him, added everything he knew about Desre with a strong warning to never, under any circumstance, let her touch any of them. For Trevor’s benefit, he included a fullparagraph about how perfectly fine he was. The rest of the page was dedicated to explaining how the kits were innocent and not to harm them.
“Done.”
“Will you teach me your language?” Kit asked. He singled out a word at the bottom, tracing its outline in the air.Nick.
“That one’s my name.”
“I like its shape.”
Nick smiled.
“I’ll teach you. I’ll even bring you textbooks from home,” Nick said. He checked the ink was dry and folded the paper, tucking the parchment and map into an envelope. He then proceeded to write a silly amount of names: Connor, Trevor, Adonis, Sam, Goldilocks, Vi. Healmostput down Bee and Dew, but he didn’t trust what the mermen would do if the letter ended up with them. They might dunk it straight into the water. And…his pen hovered over Adonis’s name. Would Adonis do that too?
His brow scrunched. The plan was to deliver the letter to one of the mermen searching the river—apparently, there were three of them—but they could be such brutes. Would it even make it to his family? Nick put the quill aside. He’d have to have a bit of faith.
Nick turned to Kit, whose attention had been locked on Nick since dinner.
“Kit.”
“Yes?” Kit didn’t lift his gaze from Nick’s mouth.
“This”—Nick gestured to his bandaged arms—“took it out of me. I don’t want us to have penetrative sex for the first time when I’m drained and tired.”
Kit nodded. Eyes on Nick’s mouth.
“I’m going to lie down,” Nick said. “Are you meeting Ios?” The other kit had invited Kit to spar after dinner.
“I am also lying down.”
