“If by appendage you mean penis, then yes.”
I roll my eyes. “What else could I mean?”
She grins. “Come on, Amy. Say the word…penis.”
I glare, my lips pursed in defiance.
Maya mouths it anyway.
Penis.
I refuse to engage.
She leans back, sighing dramatically. “Fine. If you won’t say penis, at least consider this—why don’t you offer him a video call?”
I tilt my head, pretending to weigh the idea. Of course I’ve considered it. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about what Eli’s voice actually sounds like.
What he looks like when he smirks at the screen, teasing me.
“But he lives in LA.”
Maya blinks, then deadpans. “Okay? And that’s important because…?”
I open my mouth and then close it again. How do I even explain this to her?
Despite our unshakable friendship, Maya and I couldn’t be more different.
She’s beautiful, tall, thin. A true extrovert who thrives on socializing.
I’m short, a little too curvy. The mousy friend who prefers staying home with a book and a hot chocolate.
The unreliable friend.
The one who, no matter what, can have a flare-up and be stuck at home.
The one who carries the weight of pain—a constant,invisible burden that, even if it doesn’t stop me from living, makes me take life more cautiously.
I look back at her and smile, shaking my head.
We truly couldn’t be more different.
And yet we work.
We balance each other.
But the issue here? Maya loves me.
She sees me through the rosy glasses of friendship. She doesn’t see me the way I see myself or the way others might.
What I love most about talking to Eli is the anonymity. With him, I’m not the awkward, too-quiet, invisible girl; I’m a fantasy, free of insecurities, pain, or doubts.
I exhale. “He hasn’t offered,” I say instead.
She raises an eyebrow, undeterred. “No, because he seems like a genuinely nice guy. He’s probably waiting for you to offer.” She studies me for a moment, then softens. “He won’t be disappointed, Amy. If only you could see yourself the way I see you.”
My eyes burn at the unexpected tenderness in her words.
I clear my throat, shaking off the sudden wave of emotion.
