‘How very odd.I wonder why whoever this person is doesn’t want Dai to know they’re trying to help him?’murmurs Christopher.
‘And why have they signed it “Anonymous” when their email address is right there?’asks Nash, expanding the email address out.‘thelmaagogo@gmail ...is that someone’s name?’
At this, Shaz barks with laughter and grabs at Tamara’s extremely well-pressed coat.‘Oh my god, is it really?’
‘Reallyreally,’ confirms Tamara, wearing a very un-politician-like gleeful smile.
‘I didn’t think they were still fighting!How mad that she’s trying to help him out?’
‘That’s the really strange bit to me, though.Don’t you think it’s strange?’
‘I’d have thought she’d be glad he’d freeze his willy off.’
‘Please don’t make me think about his willy.’
‘Too late.’
‘Sorry to interrupt this charming discussion about willies,’ Nash says, feeling Christopher physically panic as he says that word, ‘but can you guys explain what on earth is going on?’
‘Let me tell it, please?’Shaz presses her hands in prayer at Tamara, who gives her a gesture of ‘Go ahead’.‘Okay, so the key players in this story are Dai and Thelma.They both come from farming families, and so they were always in each other’s orbit growing up.Inseparable as kids apparently – obviously neither of us were alive then.But when they were teenagers ...’
She pauses for effect for just a little too long.
‘Sorry—’ begins Christopher, who is immediately interrupted by Shaz yelling, ‘THEY FELL IN LOVE.’
‘Oooohh,’ Nash replies, evoking his very best Dr Phil audience member, like he’s in a studio audience and someone held up a sign that says, ‘React excitedly.’
‘And they were courting for like years, right?’Shaz continues.‘But then, something happened between them, that we’ve never really got to the bottom of.Like a really,reallyterrible break-up.The kind where people pick sides, and everyone becomes sworn enemies.’
‘My mam said it was like they unanimously agreed to never speak again,’ Tamara confirms.
‘And they never did.It’s been like fifty years or something?’Shaz adds.
‘Holding a grudge for fifty years?’cries Christopher, which seems a little ironic to Nash, because ifanyonehas the emotional capacity to hold a pointless grudge for too long, he thinks it would be Christopher.‘Crikey.’
‘Crikey indeed.They’re both ...you know, rather elderly now.Still running their farms and that.But whenever they’re in the same room together, they completely blank each other.Not even a “Tell that man over there” type message thing.As far as they’re concerned, the other person is dead to them.’
‘Intense,’ whispers Nash.‘Did they ever date anyone else?’
Shaz nods.‘Oh yeah, of course they did.Both of them married other people.Thelma’s husband Eric died about ten years ago now.Their son, Liam moved up to London.’
‘Hang on, isn’t London south of here?’Nash asks.
‘London is definitely south.It’s just how she says it,’ Christopher explains.
‘For a moment there I was worried I was more lost than I thought.’
And he can’t help but feel a little relieved that Christopher said something kind of normal to him.Nothing like reuniting some ornery old people to bring them together.Well, as long as Nash doesn’t accidentally scream a swear word again.
‘And Dai married my mother’s sister Miriam, but they divorced a long time ago.I must have been barely ten,’ adds Tamara.‘Honestly I don’t think he got over Thelma underneath it all.As much as they love to act like they hate each other.’
‘And so, it’sdeadweird that she is, like, breaking that unbreakable pact to tell you to go sort him out,’ muses Shaz.
‘Precisely what’s worrying me.’Tamara spins the ring on her fourth finger.‘As far as I know, nothing before has driven them to speak to each other.Neither death nor divorce, so I’m worried.She might act like he’s dead in her own reality, but she must care enough to not want him to, you know ...’
‘Freeze his willy off.’
‘Quite.But I’m also worriedshemight not be okay either.After all, giving up on your lifelong grudges feels quite ...you know ...’
