Chapter Eighteen
Christopher
God, how did he mess that conversation up so much?Every word he said was the wrong one, and he just couldn’t get any of his meaning out.The shutters came down over Nash’s face when he was just trying to make light of this situation like they’ve been doing the whole time he’s been here, but clearly Christopher has ballsed this all up.
Nash looked so distant.Pale.Christopher watches as he storms off, somehow shovelling as he goes.
And all Christopher can do is uselessly watch him leave.
In truth, he lost the thread of what was happening in that conversation somewhere near the beginning, and it feels as if he’s still untangling it all in his head.But he just wanted to be sure that Nash cared the wayhedoes.This is hishomeand all he’s wanted this whole time was to find a way of belonging here.Now he’s finally found a way to be involved and help, but it’s only possible while paired with a man who flips so often between being his fake Hollywood self and a disaster, Christopher can’t tell who Nash really is.If helping his community is reliant on Nash, a man who is admittedly helpful, but also prone to shoutingfuckat the sky and exploding flour everywhere and irritating the hell out of him, then that makes Christopher feel a bit weird.Conflicted.
If he’s honest, he can barely believe everyone is letting him help, never mind Nash, who doesn’t even live here.He had genuinely just wanted to check.But ...maybe he can admit he went about all this the wrong way.
Nash is halfway up the street, clearing parts of the path they’d not managed to touch yet.Even when they’re fighting, Nash is still helping out the community that Christopher lives in.And all Christopher is doing is sulking about it.
Behind Nash, the moody sun looms over the mountains.This is why he is here, in part.He loved a lot of things about London, but now he can’t imagine living somewhere where the landscape is made up of buildings instead of huge rock formations and grumbling seas.
‘Are you going to go inside, or are you planning to stand here forever freezing your arse off?’Christopher looks up to find Shaz standing under the bakery awning, waiting for him.
‘Have you been there long?’
‘Long enough to see the tail end of whatever that little tiff was.’
‘Hmm.’
‘Why are you overthinking it?I recognise those frown lines.’
‘Overthinking what?’
‘Nash.Being here.Helping.He was your favourite before he got here.Is that what it is?Just all mixed up in your head?’
‘Maybe.’
‘Not maybe.I know that whirly brain.’
‘It’s very annoying when you do that.’
‘So?What are you going to do about it?You can’t both be steaming like that all night, though that’s probably a good way to melt some of this snow.’
Christopher sighs.‘I’ll just give him some space.’
Shaz laughs.‘Sure.Space.I’m sure that’s exactly what you both need,’ she says, popping half a Digestive she pulls from her pocket into her mouth.
‘Do you have a better idea?’
At this, Shaz points at her biscuit-filled mouth, shrugs with apology.Given this would be the first time Shaz hasnot had an opinion on something, he’s rather glad she’s not giving it.
Christopher unlocks the door and they both walk in.‘Did you want something?’
Mouth now biscuit-free, she says, ‘Just was heading home and thought I should check on you given the two of you were yelling in the street.VeryEastEndersof you.’
Christopher groans.That’s not exactly going to help with people taking him seriously here.‘I’m fine,’ he insists.
‘You know what would cheer you up?’
‘What?’
‘Making some gingerbread.’
