Nash shrugs.‘No one wants to go home and be called the wrong name, or asked not remotely subtle questions about when they’re going to conform to heterosexuality.So, we all just gravitated together instead.Though, we haven’t managed to do that for a few years.I’m often on the PR circuit at Christmas, you know?What about you?’
‘My ex-girlfriend Laurel’s family throws a ball for charity at their house, and it’s a huge affair with live music and food.And my mother, Esther, she runs the Christmas fête.Usually, I’d be there helping with set-up or trying to stop everyone from fighting each other.’
‘Are you close with all your exes, or just her?’
Christopher laughs.‘There’s no “all”.It’s literally just her.’
‘Wow.Like,justher or ...?’
He can feel the blush heat up his cheeks.‘There’ve been dates, but no one else.Apart from my fake ex-girlfriend.’
‘Sorry, your what?’
Oh.Had he not talked about this yet?‘Last year, Haf and I met at a party.Kissed under some mistletoe that looked sad.’
Nash sets down his ladle.‘Looked sad?’
‘It made sense at the time.Anyway, Laurel was there, which I didn’t realise, and she accidentally told everyone I was dating Haf.Well ...we kind of told her we were dating.So then she joined us for Christmas, and that’s how she and my sister Kit met.’
‘Wait, so your sister fell in love with your fake girlfriend while you were still fake together?’
‘Yeah ...kind of.’
‘How incestuous.’
‘It is not.’
‘All right then, howweird.’
Well, he can hardly argue with that.‘It worked out well.We’re all close.I was going to stay with Kit and Haf for Christmas at their place in Yorkshire.’
‘Wild.Where is this wife-swapping home town?’
‘Oxlea.It’s in the Cotswolds.Though, as far as I know, the latter isn’t that common an occurrence.’
Nash snickers.‘That’s not a real place.’
‘It is.’
‘Is it posh?’he says, adopting a British accent.
Christopher squirms.‘I mean.Yes?Haf described Laurel as “terrifyingly posh” when they first met—’
‘A bizarre thing to say when you are pretty posh yourself,’ he says, now in a bad impression of Hugh Grant, stuttering speech and all.
‘I really hope you don’t have British accents on your CV or whatever actors have, because really you are not very good at them,’ Christopher says with a smile.
‘Toyourears.You wouldn’t believe what we can get away with over there.’
‘Oh, I can.I’ve seen enough attempts.’
‘And yet none of my movies, apparently?How interesting,’ Nash lightly muses.‘Hang on a moment.Your sister’s name is Kit?’
‘Yes?’
‘But isn’t that short for Christopher?’
‘No, her name is Katharine.’
