‘I could call and check.Why?’
‘We could make some food for them?’The thought comes from his mouth before he can really think it through.‘If ease is what they need, I mean.We can use the list as guidance to try and make something like the things they asked for, and then it’s a whole meal they can heat up, right?We have your massive empty bakery, and it’s not like we’ve got anything better to do in this weather.Plus, it might be better use of my energy than making homemade weights or us sniping at each other.And I’ve fixed the van already, so what else am I going to do?This place must sell Tupperware we can use, or maybe you have something like that in the bakery?’He trails off as he watches a soft, lazy smile blossom on Christopher’s face.The kind that makes his stomach ache.
‘That’s really very thoughtful of you, Nash.’
‘I can be thoughtful,’ he sniffs, brushing off the compliment.‘It’ll be like Meals on Wheels, right?You can cook, and I’ll be sous chef.I’m good at taking direction.’
Christopher snorts at this for some reason, but makes the necessary phone calls to Shaz and Myffy, directing Nash to add a few notes on his own phone of likes and dislikes and anabsolutely do not bring that into my housefrom Shaz about blue cheese.
The next hour goes quickly, and to Nash’s surprise, it’s because he’s having fun.They raid the canned food and the frozen vegetables sections and Nash is surprised by the sheer joy he feels at finding some normal non-Christmas Cheddar for Shaz’s kids.
With all their goods, they decide to make a vegetarian as-many-beans-as-possible chilli for the adults, a low-on-the-seasonings bolognese for Shaz’s kids with lots of hiddencanned vegetables, and a big thick soup with crispy bacon or fish finger croutons for the topping.Solid dishes they can batch-cook in massive quantities this afternoon without it taking hours and hours.There’s no spaghetti for the bolognese, but they hope the kids will enjoy the novelty of the miscellaneous bags of pasta shapes they pick up.Strangely enough, the dietary section is another part of the store relatively untouched by the plague of locusts that must have come through, so they stock up on long-life oat-based cream for the soup.
Although he was a little unsure about the whole idea to start with, Christopher really comes alive when he realises he could bake things for people, too.He suggests sourdough loaves, some flatbreads for the chilli, and perhaps a run of biscuits.He picks up a few things for the baking, grumbling at the price compared to wholesale, but still smiling when he adds them in.
‘You load, I’ll bag,’ says Nash when they get to the tills.He passes the cashier, saying hello, but Christopher gets into a full conversation with the young girl.Typical.
Nash can’t help but watch as Christopher leans over to pick up things to place gently on the conveyer belt.They lock eyes, but Nash styles it out by making a very big show of shaking open the carrier bags.His eyes wander again even as he bags things together.And when Christopher gets out his wallet to pay, he rolls up the sleeves of his shirt and jumper, as though he’s about to do manual labour rather than simply tap a card against a reader.In the soft white underside of one arm is one lone freckle, and Nash has to bite down on his lip to drag his attention away.His mind wanders, imagin- ing clasping his hand right over that freckle, and pinning Christopher’s arm above his head.
God, really?Is this what Stockholm Syndrome feels like?Being held hostage and developing feelings for your captor?But instead of romantic feelings, Nash is just thinking about the way the freckles dapple across Christopher’s shoulders.He’s pretty sure he listened to a podcast about how Stockholm Syndrome was all made up anyway.Either way, it seems a little unfortunate that this weird guy’s vibe seems to be doing this much for him at this very moment.
‘Ready to go?’Christopher startles him so much that he drops a bag of canned goods a little too heavily into the trolley.All the nearby cashiers look over at them, alerted by the noise.
‘Yes,’ he says, a little too quickly.
‘All right,’ says Christopher, with that soft lazy smile that makes Nash want to ...well.
This is bad.This is really bad, he thinks.He needs a cold shower.Perhaps a walk in the snow.Maybe he should get into that angry sea too, just to be safe.Swim home.
* * *
They load up the van, and as they pull out of the car park, Nash flicks on the radio.Someone is speaking in Welsh, but it quickly gives way to Caroline Polachek’s‘SoHot You’re Hurting My Feelings’, which Christopher hums along to.
Against his better judgement, he decides to find out more about Christopher.‘So do you speak Welsh?’he asks.
‘Why do you ask?’
‘The radio, and I heard you saying a few things to the cashier.’
‘I’m learning, or trying to.I’ve always been quite good at languages; the Latin-based ones are what I was most exposed to.I very much felt that if I was going to come here and open a business, the least I could do is learn the language.’
‘Do lots of people speak it?’
‘Apparently a third of the country, but it might take a while for them to speak to me.’
‘Why’s that?’
‘I’ve got to prove myself, haven’t I?’Christopher says simply, shrugging his shoulders ever so slightly.‘Plus, it’sjust easier for us all to speak in English if I’m doing a really bad job of Welsh.But also, I came here, and bought up retail space because I was lucky to have London property money.I’m young, so I guess it could seem like I’m not serious.Like I don’t care about this community.But I do.I want to prove that.’
‘I guess moving into a small community is always tricky but even more so when it’s a different country.’
‘Essentially.And I suspect you don’t get taught much Welsh history at all – I certainly was not – but there’s a history of English colonisation here.I don’t want to inadvertently be another part of that.There’re so many people here with holiday homes that are just never here, never giving back to the community.It’s just ...it’s all on my mind.That privilege.’
‘That’s admirable,’ Nash reluctantly admits.He kind of wishes Christopher would go back to being prissy and annoying, instead of earnest.
‘It shouldn’t be.It really is the least I should be doing.And my Welsh is truly atrocious.You just can’t tell because you don’t speak it.’
Nash wonders if Welsh is on Duolingo because making fun of Christopher in Welsh could be extra fun.But before he can open the app, he realises his screen is full of messages from Kurt.Variations onmy dude, let’s talk.He hesitates, not quite ready to click on them and find out the full extent of Kurt’s messages yet.After all, they’ve got two more days, right?That’s plenty of time to deliberate privately.
