Nash sets his case at the end of the bed, and sits down on it, bouncing slightly.‘Man, this is so much better than sleeping on the plane.Or the sheep truck.’
Christopher looks longingly at his bed, and quietly bids it goodbye for now.
‘Let me know if you need anything.I’ll leave you to unpack.’
He retrieves his own suitcase and sets it in the corner of the living room.That’ll have to do.
Now what?
What exactly do you do with yourself when an actor you’re pretending to know nothing about is making themselves at home in your bedroom?Especially when you’ve already cleaned everything in anticipation of guests.
He primps cushions, rearranges the already neatly folded blankets, and straightens the huge baking bibles that live permanently on his coffee table.Christopher very quickly runs out of tasks, and so resorts to British basic programming: he makes tea.
Nash has left the bedroom door open, but he still knocks to be polite.
‘Tea?’
Nash grins.‘I wondered how long it would take for you to offer me tea.I’ve heard it’s a compulsion for you guys.That was a whole five minutes.You must have been dying inside.’
‘Well ...yes.It is one of those stereotypes that’s mostly true,’ Christopher says with a smile.‘How do you take it?’
Nash raises his eyebrows and gives him a smirk.‘Depends who’s asking.’
Christopher can feel his face go completely beetroot.At this moment, he would quite like to escape his own skin, never mind the flat.
Hopefully oblivious, Nash just laughs at his own joke.‘I dunno, man, milk and sugar, I guess?Our tea tastes like piss so I drink freshly ground drip coffee at home.I’ll take it however you have it.’
It’s a strange experience being simultaneously attracted to someone and irritated by everything they say.Imagine having such a blasé attitude to how you take tea; and of course he’d be ahas-opinionscoffee drinker.
Be nice, Christopher.Just be nice!
Christopher makes tea in two of the nice stoneware ceramic mugs that Laurel got him for the new flat.He puts an extra sugar in Nash’s because Americans love sugar, but then remembers LA people probably think it’s the devil.Either way, it’s too late.
As he squeezes out the teabags, he hears Nash in the bedroom say, in the worst cockney accent ever, ‘One cuppa, governor.’Against his best intentions, he can’t help but chuckle.But only a very little one.
His phone buzzes, and he’s relieved to see a text from Shaz.
Shaz:Oi, you all right?Did you leave?Any word from Tessa?Let me know if you need me to pop over.Sorry for not messaging earlier.Gar was clearing the snow off the drive and pavement this morning, fell over on some ice, and has a probably broken ankle according to Priti (have you met her?Nurse, nice) who came over to help.The Piranhas have been up since four.Merry Christmas????I need more gingerbread!!!!
Christopher:Oh no!Is Gar okay?Do you need anything?Good job I gave you two reindeer.
Shaz:Gar is Gar.Stoic but also sleeping it off in front of Frozen 2 with the kids.And my mother-in-law has helpfully told me the bath needs cleaning.Reindeer are long gone.
Shaz:Wait are you still here then?
Christopher:Yes.No trains running.
Shaz:Ah shite, I’m sorry!Wanna come over?What happened to Tessa the hermit?
Christopher:Tomorrow?Need to sort some things out.Will bring gingerbread.
‘Sort some things out’ seems like the world’s biggest euphemism.And sure, telling her that Nash Nadeau is here might give her the distraction thatsheneeds, but Christopher himself is still wrapping his head around it all.At least promising her gingerbread means he has A Task to focus on.
After all, how do you even condense the enormity ofyes that film star we’re mutually obsessed with is currently putting his things away in my chest of drawers and also I feel conflicted because turns out he is terribly annoyinginto a single text message?
Perhaps he is thinking about it all too much.
Nash has closed the bedroom door, so Christopher calls ‘Tea!’to no answer, and sets Nash’s tea down on the coffee table.This reminds Christopher he should process a refund for Nash – yes he’s technically staying in Christopher’s bed tonight, but it’s really not right to keep the money.
