‘Accidentally cohabiting with a baker.’
‘Is that slang for something dirty?’Nash can practically hear the accompanying eyebrow waggle through the phone line.
‘It’s not.’
‘Pity.Well, be nice to this mystery baker.I know what you’re like.’
‘Look, the stunt guy recovered and anyway it was just a misunderstanding—’
‘Yeah, yeah.’
‘I can be nice.’
At this, Kurt suppresses a loud snort.‘Yeah, maybe when you’re playing the vet and having a temporary personality transplant.’
‘Aren’t I paying you to be nice to me?’
‘I only get paid when you sign the contracts, my dude,’ Kurt says gently, in a way that makes Nash feel incredibly guilty for all this mess, especially when it apparently seems to have been entirely unnecessary.‘Hang a moment, will you?’
He does as he’s told, cursing himself for not speaking to Kurt in the first place.How did he take this so casually?And while complimenting Nash and his work?God, this is maddening.He really should have just spoken to Kurt from the first moment he started having doubts.
But then, if he’d been brave from the off, he’d never have met Christopher.Maybe he needed that in order to be brave.
‘Okay, I’m back.So especially with this on the table, I need you back in LA as they’re going to want to talk.I know ideally you’d get to stay in Wales for now and we do this all over Zoom, but you’re the asset and we need to pony youin front of them a little, if that sounds all right?I’ll set up a meeting.From what I can see, international flights are back on, we can book you onto a lunchtime flight tomorrow from Manchester from the looks of things.I’ll arrange for Tessa to send you a car – I’m going to assume she knows where you are?’
‘Yes,’ he says quietly.
Tomorrow?Is it over already?He’d stopped checking if flights and trains were operational a few days ago, when some small part of him had accepted that this is where he was going to be.Where hewantedto be.
‘OK, I’ll send you an itinerary.’Kurt is in full business mode, springing into action as always, and Nash is struggling to keep up.‘If you could write up some notes so that we’ve got something to talk through before we meet the bigwigs, that would help me no end, and then we can present you as a rounder package, OK?’
His mouth is dry.This is happening.So much is happening at once that all he can do is bleat out, ‘OK.’
‘Are you sure?’
No.Yes.Absolutely not.
‘Sorry, I had a seizure yesterday so I’m a little foggy, that’s all.I’m fine,’ he says, the lie souring on his tongue.
‘Are you safe?’
‘Yes, the baker ...Christopher looked after me.’
There’s a pause on the line, just for a moment.‘Good, I’m glad.And look, don’t get all caught up in your head about everything.This isexciting!I’m excited for you and for us to enter a new era of Nadeau.The cards are all in your hands, bro.I’ll pick you up from the airport in like thirty-six hours.Sleep well!’Kurt hangs up.
Fuck.
He drops the phone in his lap.Why does he feel so numb?He did the thing, finally!That’s what this whole fucking mess has been about – speaking his truth, asking for what he wants.And yes, deep down it feels good thathe is apparently on track to maybe make his dreams come true ...but tomorrow?
Tomorrow.
He must have slept for longer than he thought because it’s nearing four, which means he has barely any time left with Christopher before ...the inevitable.
Nash scrambles out of the bed and walks carefully down the stairs.When he reaches the bakery kitchen, Christopher doesn’t look up, too absorbed in decorating a tiny but perfect gingerbread house.Something catches in Nash’s throat as he watches him pipe frosting, delicately bringing a world to life.
That’s how it feels.For the first time in a long time, Nash feels animated.Alive.
This man, this strange, awkward, but impossibly kind tall man has worked his way into Nash’s brain and heart and now he has to say goodbye?It’s some kind of special cruelty that he has to leave the only person he’s had any kind of romantic connection with who didn’t act as if the way his brain misfires is a problem.The last person he loved told him outright that it was a burden to love him, and that it was too much to expect someone to look after himandlove him at the same time.
