Nash’s phone buzzes and he takes it out, dismissing whatever it is, probably a call from his agent.Part of Christopher wants to tell him to answer it, to speak what he wants out loud, but that’s letting the real world in.Can’t they just stay in this wintry fantasy a little longer?This is their time to be selfish and together, and so he pulls Nash into another deep kiss as the salty sea laps the shore.
How impossible it is to be here, kissing the man of his dreams, under a sugar-coating of snow?This Christmas was never going to turn out like he expected but what are the chances ofthis?It makes it all feel that bit more magical, as if they were meant to find each other in the storm.
The wind whips up into a gale, and they break apart from kissing with shrieks.
‘You’ll have to carry me back to the van.I’m too frail and tired,’ Nash says, burying himself against Christopher.
‘You know I’d love to be able to lift you, but I’m afraid that’s definitely not going to happen.’
‘That sucks,’ Nash pouts.‘I’ve always wanted to be carried.You’re letting the side down.’
‘Well, maybe you should carryme.You’re much stronger than I am.’
‘Have you seen how long your limbs are, Calloway?I’m not sure I can lift high enough to get your giant tree-trunk legs off the ground.I swear you’re part ent.’
‘Is this our thing?’Christopher laughs, wrapping his arm around Nash’s shoulders and guiding them forward through the snow and sand back to the van.
‘What?’
‘Bickering and getting annoyed with each other and then kissing?’
‘I think so,’ Nash says with a sharp flash of a grin.
Our thingfeels like a tacit admission of something.Or a wish.
He doesn’t know how long this will last between them.
‘Maybe ...we should go home and bicker some more then.’
‘I’d like that.Also, I’d like to eat, for the first time, some of that gingerbread you made.’
‘Nice try.’
‘I didn’t eat any!It was the cat.’
‘I’d know that taste anywhere.’
‘Oh, all right then,’ Nash says, giving up the pretence almost immediately.‘But you better let me have some more.’
Even though the drive is short, Nash falls asleep in the van.Christopher feels awful prodding him awake when he’s so exhausted, but he manages to coax him upstairs and tucks him into bed.His bed.Their bed.
This is the kind of thing he can imagine doing forever.And it’s kind of horrifying to realise, but maybe he wants to do this forever.He could be the man Nash can come home to, the one to look after him when things get too much.
Is he really thinking about this?
The gingerbread is cool so he decides to distract his mind with decorating, but the thought doesn’t shift.What-ifs run through his mind, one after the other, and the thing is, he’ll only get an answer if he talks to Nash about it.That was his advice for Nash thinking about his future career and what he wanted, wasn’t it?To actually address it?Perhaps he should take that same advice too.
But for now, he’ll let him sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Nash
Nash doesn’t manage to sleep for long before Kurt calls again.Groggy-headed, he accepts that the conversation needs to happen, and answers the phone.
‘Hey Kurt.’
‘Hey bro.Sorry to get back on things so early, but I was just thinking of picking up some breakfast and swinging over to your place so we can talk business.What do you fancy?’
