‘Plus,’ he says, pushing his empty plate away.‘I was thinking we could do something a little more fun this evening.’
‘What’s more fun than assembling a gingerbread house?’Christopher snorts, and then looks up, clocking Nash’s hungry look.‘Oh.’
They lose all their clothes on the way to bed, kissing as they go.Their desire for each other is less furious tonight, probably because they’re so tired, and under Christopher’s gentle touch, Nash comes quickly, as though Christopher’s been doing just that to him for years.Nash takes his time with Christopher, stroking him gently with his hands so that they can keep kissing.Nash thinks that he could never get tired of kissing Christopher.
It’s only in the quiet when his lips are bruised from kissing that he feels some small part of himself come undone.Is this ...relaxing?It’s not something he’s felt for a long time.
Christopher rolls over and fixes him with those big baby blues.‘If you want to talk about work things, I’m happy to be an ear.Especially now, you know, we’re not pretending I don’t know who you are any more.’
Nash snorts a laugh.‘Now thatyouare no longer pretending, you mean.’
‘Well.Yes.’
‘I’m not sure you’ll want to hear it, Superfan.You’ve no idea what you’re asking.’
‘Tell me.’
‘No, it’s ...long and complicated and probably really dull.’
‘Nash, of all the things I could call you, dull is hardly one of them.’
‘The situation is dull.’
‘Okay, but it matters to you?’
Nash lets Christopher’s words hang in the air.After all, what is the risk of talking this through with him?It’s not asif he’s connected to the industry, and from Nash’s limited snooping, Christopher’s social media seems to be confined to taking photos of things he’s baked.He’s hardlyDeuxMoi.
‘So, the acting thing.I might be ...done.’
He can tell Christopher is trying to squash all his shock.What Nash is pretty sure was a gasp quickly turns to a yawn.
‘Done?With acting?’Christopher asks, trying to look casual.‘But what about the lastChristmas at the Clinicfilm?’
‘See, this is why I didn’t want to talk about it with you.You sound like I just told you Santa isn’t real.’
‘Heisn’t!?’Christopher smirks, and Nash rolls his eyes.
‘Very funny.’
‘I can be, on occasion.But I’ll restrain myself.’Christopher is doing that earnest look now that makes Nash want to tell him everything.It’s ...disarming.He must never let Christopher know how powerful it is.
‘It’s just ...it’s a weird thing living your dream when it’s just not your dream any more.Getting scouted forParental Unitswas unimaginably cool when I was just this dorky little kid making my transition progress videos on YouTube.Like, yeah I’d always been a bit of a theatre kid.’
‘No.You, a diva?A drama queen?I’mshocked.’
‘Yes, very funny, I’ve never heard that one before.’
Christopher squeezes his arm.‘Sorry.Keep going.’
‘Anyway, I loved that, although going through puberty on television and being a teenager in the public eye are two experiences I, on the whole, would not recommend to anyone.’
‘And then the Christmas films happened?’
‘Eventually.It took a while but, yeah, I kind of fell into that.It was Barbie who kicked my career off.I kind of rode her coat tails for a while.’
‘You were known already,’ Christopher disagrees.
‘Yeah, but it’s not the same.She was Instagram famous in 2014.Do you remember what that ...’He trails off.‘No, I imagine you won’t.’