‘How’s Gar’s foot?’
Shaz pulls a face.‘Absolutely grim.I made the mistake of looking and it looks like a pear someone kicked down the stairs.Not broken, but still.Yuck.Priti is going to score us some crutches from her stash.’
‘Stash makes it sound so sordid, Shaz,’ Priti sighs as she passes them.
‘And a little spicy.’
‘So, what’s our next daring mission?’Nash says as he returns, leaning his hand on the back of Shaz’s chair.Christopher offers him one of his two mugs, and luckily Nash takes one.‘Is it dinner and an early night?Please say it is?’
Despite the joke, Christopher wants to ask where he was, and if he is okay.He had looked so tired when they had got into the van, and it’s been such a long day ...but he bites his lip because there’s no way he can ask without arousing Shaz’s suspicions, and he’s pretty sure what Nash said about his seizures was need-to-know information.Instead, he says, ‘Any more pensioners need us to facilitate coitus?’
At least this gets a laugh out of Nash.
‘Oh my god, are you serious?Look at you love bugs,’ cackles Shaz.She turns to yell at Priti across the hall.‘Here, Priti, you’d better go make sure they’ve not broken a hip tomorrow.’
Priti closes her eyes just for a second and walks over to them.‘I hope you left them some condoms.’
‘Do I want to know?’asks Tamara nervously, who has finally looked up from her laptop at the sound of this.
‘Probably not,’ answers Shaz.
‘Sorry.Nurse-mode,’ says Priti.‘I can’t help it.You wouldn’t believe how little the older members of society know about safe sex.’
The last time Christopher felt this uncomfortable about someone saying the wordsexin his presence was probably when he was about fifteen and in the throes of puberty.But today, with someone he has had sex with sitting just behindhim, just acknowledging the act as a possibility between two humans makes him feel naked, in the bad way.
Can Shaz tell?How the hell is he going to tell her?It probably can’t be until Nash has left and they can all move on from this.
After he’s left ...
Christopher shakes his head, as if to dislodge the thought, and stands up to speak to Tamara properly.And to get a little more distance between him and Nash.‘Need anything else from us today?’He hopes that she’s going to say no, so that Nash can get some rest.
‘Well, it’s going to be a huge ask,’ Tamara says bluntly.‘Thanks to all the volunteers, I think we’ve managed to speak to pretty much everyone in Pen-y-Môr who is still here.There are quite a few people isolated and without family members here for Christmas ...so I was thinking we should have everyone here for a big meal?’The only thing is that I don’t know where to start...’
‘I’ll host it,’ says Christopher before he can think too much about it.
‘Really?’Tamara’s face lights up.‘It’s a lot to ask of you.’
‘It makes the most sense.I’ve got tables and chairs set up, and a much bigger kitchen than in here.’
‘True, the oven in the wee kitchen can barely warm a sausage roll,’ says Shaz in a way that suggests this has been a major issue they’ve been trying to solve today.
‘With some volunteers in the morning to help me cook and set up, we could make a few courses.It might be rustic, but it’ll be something, and no one will have to be alone.’He can feel the flicker of excitement in his stomach.Christopher loves cooking for people, and he never did follow up with Shaz about Christmas at hers what with all the general chaos around them.This way, he gets to be useful and make people happy.
‘We’d definitely have to raid all the supermarkets and corner shops,’ adds Nash.
‘Perhaps I can call in some favours ...’murmurs Tamara.‘The only other issue is getting everyone up here.’
‘If someone else can organise getting people to the bakery, we can focus on cooking,’ says Christopher.‘We could lend the van?’
‘The van can fit two passengers in the front, one or two in the back, and nine small to very small dogs, but it’s hardly comfy and not exactly accessible if anyone has any mobility issues,’ says Nash.
‘Point taken.Does anyone have anything bigger than a five-seater?’
‘Me,’ answers Ursula, striding across the village hall in matching furry snow boots and gilet.She looks like the villainous ex-girlfriend from one of Nash’s movies.It’s kind of a serve.‘I’ve got a people-carrier for the kids, and we can borrow the minibus from the care home, as they will be doing everything in-house tomorrow.And Mervyn has a black cab he was planning to do up, but it still has all the fittings.Together, we can pick everyone up and bring them over.That’s if you actually want to listen to any of my suggestions,Tamara.’
The last bit is delivered quite haughtily.
‘That’s really generous of you,’ Christopher says when no one else responds.
