‘He looks pretty scared. Maybe we’ve tired him out enough that he’ll let us come to him.’
‘Yeah, but how? I don’t think there are any paddle boats here. Where’s the guy who is supposed to be looking after them?’
A big hiss cuts through the air, dragging their attention to the ice on the pond. Advancing towards Cupid is one very furious-looking goose, white feathers so puffed out that they almost stand on end. It is somehow the biggest goose that Haf has ever seen, even though she lives in York, which is basically the goose capital of England, if not the whole of Britain. She’s found geesein her garden, barring the office doorway, even blocking her path, and she’s managed to escape them every time. But that’s because she almost always has some food to lob in the other direction to distract them.
The baby reindeer has no snacks. And so there’s a good chance that the baby reindeer is about to get goosed.
Several ducks look on, concerned, but drift away on the water as the goose gets closer. They appear to know better than to stay near an angry goose.
Everyone else is still dealing with Cupid’s chaos or is searching on the other side of the fête by the reindeer pen. No one can see them when it’s so much darker over here, and even if they shout for someone else to come, that goose is practically on top of Cupid.
There’s only one thing to be done.
‘Should I go find someone?’ Kit begins, but Haf cuts her off by handing her the antique Christmas hat.
‘I’m going in,’ she says, marching down the muddy bank towards the water.
‘What?! No! Don’t be ridiculous!’ Kit yells. ‘You’ll freeze!’
‘I’ll be quick!’ Haf shouts back, not turning in case Kit catches up with her.
As she scrambles down the bank to the icy water, the mud gives way suddenly and she crashes straight in, up to her knees.
‘Fuck my life!’ she screeches at the chill and the shock of the fall.
Behind her, Kit is yelling her name.
‘I’m all right!’ she calls back, striding forward with teeth gritted.
The duck pond is much deeper than she expected, licking over her knees as she wades slowly. The mud in the bottom of the pond is as thick as pudding, and the plants keep wrapping around her boots. It is a struggle, but she must keep going,because if she stops, the goose will attack either her or Cupid, or they will all just freeze in this silly little pond.
The ducks swim up to her, quacking with concern and probably a bit of amusement that some enormous wally has walked into their home.
Up ahead, the goose’s hissing gets louder, and it pads along the ice towards them.
‘Yeah, yeah, I hear you, dickhead. Just leave us alone and we’ll be out of here in a moment.’
The ducks, who realise she has nothing to offer them, start to back away. She wonders what it says about her that the ducks seem more capable of sensible decisions than she is.
The little reindeer makes a sad little noise, something between a mew and a honk.
‘Oh my God, there’s someone in the lake!’ she hears someone shout behind her, and she risks a glance over her shoulder to see a crowd gathering.
‘It’s Haf! She’s found the reindeer,’ she hears Kit shout back.
‘Someone call the fire brigade? The RNLI?’ Another voice shouts, unsure which emergency service is correct for someone voluntarily walking into an ice-cold pond.
‘Keep going! It would be really embarrassing if you froze out there!’ Kit yells.
Over her head, Haf puts up her middle finger, and she hears a few gasps, realising there’s probably children behind her too.
‘Sorry!’ she yells back and catches the sound of Kit laughing in the air.
As she turns back to the mission at hand, she realises the goose is closer than she thought. It perches right on the edge of the ice, stretching its neck and nasty little beak out as far as it will go.
Haf likes pretty much every animal going, but this might be the goose that breaks the camel’s back.
As she gets closer, it hisses at her and flaps its huge wings.
