359 votes
There are a lot of comments discussing what they would do, and while she’s tempted to scroll through them, part of her realises that might be a terrible idea. The fake dating was bad enough.
Haf:Can you perhaps keep your roasting to WhatsApp please? I don’t want anyone to find out. I didn’t mind the first one so much, but I just don’t want to risk it.
Ambrose:oh please, who is going to work it out???
Ambrose:let me have my fun
Haf:Fine, keep it vague tho??
Haf:I don’t want people to realise it’s about me bc we live together!!!
Ambrose:also it’s the sort of thing you’d do
Ambrose:some good advice in the comments, especially this one
Ambrose forwards her a tweet.
@poopdoctor@ambroseliew make them fight each other for my affection.
Haf sighs and flings the phone as far away from her as possible.Let them have their fun, she thinks.Someone should be having fun.
A couple of scalding hot sips of achingly sweet tea later, Haf slides off the mattress to her feet, grabbing her bathroom bag from the open suitcase on her side of the room.
I should probably unpack that, she thinks.
As she opens the bedroom door, the one opposite opens at the exact same time.
It’s Kit. Unfortunately for Haf, she looks extremely cute, if very grumpy, in forest-green silk pyjamas. She grunts, and reaches up to smooth down her hair, which is standing up in big knots.
‘Morning,’ says Haf, swallowing her nerves and attempting to be cheery.
‘Did I imagine it... or did someone ring a fucking bell?’ she mumbles.
‘No, I heard it too.’
‘Ugh. I hate bells. Especially in my house.Especiallyin the morning.’ Kit shrugs, yawns and groans all at once in a movement that says, ‘I would rather not be awake, but I guess I am now.’
There’s an awkward pause that Haf wants to fill. ‘I’m just going to brush my teeth. I have a gross morning mouth.’
‘Oh yeah, me too.’
The awkward pause returns, and all Haf can think to say is, ‘Well, shall we?’
This is absolutely a ridiculous thing to say, as though they are going for a stroll not to use the bathroom, but in her half-asleep state, Kit seems unphased by this.
Kit wanders to the bathroom, leaving the door open, which Haf takes for an invitation. After rooting through the cabinet, Kit slumps down onto the closed toilet lid. In one hand is a glass of water, in her other two white tablets.
‘Bad sleep?’ Haf asks, taking out her toothbrush from the washbag.
Kit fumbles the pills into her mouth and takes a long, slow sip. ‘I very rarely get a good one. Comes with the rest of it. Non-refreshing sleep.’
‘Oh no, I’m sorry,’ Haf gargles in between brushing her teeth, not really knowing what Kit means.
Kit takes another sip of water, then reaches up to the cabinet for a little jar of moisturiser. ‘Sorry, you probably have no idea what I’m going on about.’
Haf waves her hand and gurgles out, ‘You can tell me if you’d like to,’ though it sounds more like, ‘oohcahellmay.’
