‘Wise bookseller. Silly you. I saw your tweet about guffing it. Is that what’s bothering you?’
‘Not just that. Turns out I didn’t need to worry about whether I’d see her again.’
‘Oh yeah?’ they say excitedly.
‘Ambrose, she’s Christopher’s sister.’
There is a strained pause as they take this in. ‘She is his sister?’
‘Yes.’
‘This fantasy girl who you fell in love at first sight with—’
‘I wouldn’t say love.’
‘—is his sister.’
‘Yes.’
‘Who you are sharing a house with for Christmas?’
‘Yes.’
Ambrose presses their lips together into a flat line and closes their eyes.
After a few moments, Haf says, ‘Hello? Are you still there? You’re not moving.’
‘I’m just trying to think of the supportive emotional response you probably need, as opposed to all the things I want to say.’
‘You can say those.’
‘Oh no, no, no, no. I cannot say those. Mostly because they’re not words as much as screeches of shock and laughter and karma’s a bitch, et cetera, et cetera. Instead, I am going to opt for, “Wow that sounds super-duper hard for you in this horrible mess from the universe.”’
‘That doesn’t sound like you’re being serious.’ Haf pouts.
‘I am! I’m trying to be emotionally available!’
‘Why?’
‘A little self-improvement.’ They take a breath, choosing their words. ‘I am sorry you are now trapped in a house with this girl and dating her brother in an entirely avoidable impossible situation’
‘Fakedating.’
‘Are you going to leave?’
‘No, I can’t. I said I would help him out, and I want to.’
‘Is facing Christmas alonethat bad?’ they ask gently.
‘No, honestly, I am regretting not putting on my big-girl pants and doing the M&S order you suggested.’
‘I am very wise.’ Ambrose turns away briefly to shout something at an intruding preteen who Haf can hear in the distance.
‘Everything okay at your end?’
‘Yeah, my little cousins just keeping wanting to playFortnite. Always fuckingFortnite. Give meMario Kart– something I canbeat their arses at. Not this. I might actually be old now, I’m realising. I hate it! Anyway, back to you. You’re telling me you are choosing to stay in this absolute fuckery? And what? You’re just going to pretend you don’t want to smooch the face off his sister?’
Flashes of her lips as she laughed, as she smirked. The warmth of her as they stood at the sink. The way her hair shone in the lights.
