‘I feel the same,’ Haf gasps, the words spilling out of her now. Her heart races as Kit’s eyes turn to her. ‘You didn’t imagine it. I felt... I feel the same way. It’s not just you. And I can’t ignore it any more.’
Speaking the words to Christopher, and that almost-kiss in front of the fireplace, have unleashed all these huge feelings and she absolutely can’t hold them back any more. Not now she knows that Kit feels the same. Not now she knows that all these moments that meant something to her mean something to Kit too. That other universe was real all along.
They’re closer now, their bodies magnetised to each other. The heat of Kit’s body radiates across the space towards her.
‘We can’t,’ says Kit, her mouth an angry slash. ‘We can’t. I can’t.’
‘I know. I know that.’
‘But I want to.’
Haf begins to speak, but before she can explain anything, or stop all this, Kit is kissing her. Her cold hands cup Haf’s face, and Haf melts. This is all she wanted, and she can’t believe it’s happening. She could die in this moment.
Kit’s mouth opens to her, hungry for more, and their kiss is filled with the pent-up longing of the last few days. Those lips, those wry, smiling lips, kiss her with such longing.
Haf slides her hands up her back, pulling Kit’s body against her like their survival in the cold night depends on it. Their heartbeats beat against each other, desperate to mesh.
Below them, the string quartet strikes up again and Haf could swear she is dreaming.
It’s a kiss made of magic and stardust, and the world around them explodes. It’s a beautiful disaster and she doesn’t want it to end.
They break apart slowly, smaller kisses that beg for more. Just another kiss to stay in this world of their own.
But as they finally break apart, they are hit with the reality of what they’ve done.
Kit’s hand goes to her kiss-bruised mouth. ‘Fuck. Oh fuck. I have to go.’
Gathering her dress in her hands, Kit runs back inside, slamming the door behind her.
After a moment of shock, Haf touches her lips with her frozen fingers. It really did happen; she didn’t imagine it. They kissed, and Kit really does want her in the same way she wants her. She can’t let her leave like this.
The heat of the ball is a welcome relief as she launches herself down the stairs, hoping she doesn’t fall down them. She can’t possibly stop. Because every moment that gathers between the start of the kiss and now is going to fill with regret and anger. Kit is going to close herself off. She can feel it.
Haf squeezes her way through the dance floor, dodging around couples dancing happily.
‘Kit!’ she calls, but her voice is swallowed by the cacophony of the merry dancing crowd. The sound swims in her head and she is dizzy with it.
There’s a flash of green in the distance and she pushes past the revellers. Racing away is Kit, fleeing the ball like Cinderella at the stroke of midnight.
Ahead, Kit bursts through the front door, much to the surprise of the doorman, who, seeing Haf following, holds it open.
‘Kit, please!’ she yells from where she stands at the top of the stairs.
Everything is illuminated by the golden light from the house that melds with the blue moonlight, like it’s covered in a layer of pearl. In the middle of the garden stands Kit, her green dress dyed silver in the dark.
Haf runs to her, and as she gets closer, Kit finally turns. She looks so desperately sad.
‘Kit,’ she breathes. ‘Don’t leave.’
‘I can’t stay, not now. I shouldn’t have...Weshouldn’t have done that.’ Angry sobs rack her body. ‘Fuck!’
‘I know,’ Haf whispers, walking towards her with arms open like she’s approaching a dangerous creature. ‘I know, but let’s just talk. Please?’
‘I think you should stay away from me,’ Kit hisses. ‘You have to stay away.’
Her eyes and body soften.
‘Please, stay away,’ she whispers. ‘I can’t— I can’t trust myself.’
