“You? No. You’re too kind.”
I turn away and look toward my dark hearth. “You’re wrong about me. I could have ended his life. I’ve done it before, Laini. I’m a killer.”
I hear her quiet gasp and bow my head.
“Yes. I accidentally crushed a woman in the last town I lived in.”
“It was accidental.”
I cut her off. “It doesn’t matter. I’m a danger. Leo is awful, and I still want to punch his face in, but he’s right about his attitude toward me. I can’t allow myself to get worked up in any way. My magic is too wild and too strong.”
“Leo is completely unhurt. We will explain it to the folks who were frightened. It will simply take communication and perhaps some time. That’s all.”
Rubbing my temples, I shake my head. “This is just like last time. It will end in tragedy.”
“No—”
I have to tell her everything so she understands the gravity of thesituation.
“In the town where I worked as a gate guard, our lord, a human male, invited his staff to a feast. I’d thought he was a good fellow.”
An invisible weight settles on my chest, and I have to fight to get the rest of the sad tale out.
“He presented his wife as if she was just another painting on the wall. When she voiced her concern about the potential flooding we had all been discussing, he hit her. Right there at the table. When she couldn’t stop crying, he led her out of the room, and well, I will spare you the details. But I went after him, and I struck him down in a simple way. With my fists.”
I press my eyes shut, and it’s all there in my mind’s eye, as clear as if it happened yesterday.
I continue. “A shout drew me out of the back corridor where I’d fought him. The baker from next door had arrived with terrible news. The cliff-face that loomed over our town had broken free and covered three homes. An innocent mother of three died in the rubble. Rubble that I know I drew down from the mountain in my rage.”
Laini’s eyes are pinched, and two lines appear between her light eyebrows. “But how do you know it was you?”
“I felt it. The rumble of my magic inside me andin my palms. I didn’t know what I’d done, but I knew something had happened when the lord mistreated his wife.”
“Oh, Rom. I am so sorry.”
I take a ragged breath, guilt strangling me. “So I can’t put you through this. I never should have risked you. I have more control now, that is true. But to be with me like a mate would be? That’s too much. You deserve safety, joy, and the knowledge that you aren’t directly in danger every time I get riled up.”
I whirl toward her. Her face falls, and she bites her sexy lower lip, sending heat through my frosted veins.
“Rom, please.”
I sit again and draw her toward me, easing her onto the arm of the chair. Holding her hands like the treasures they are, I meet her troubled eyes.
“You deserve more than what I can give you,” I say. “You should be mated to someone without this stain on them. I’m not nearly good enough for you.”
A swallow moves her smooth throat. I’ll never forget what her skin tastes like there in the sweet hollow between her collarbones.
“No, Rom. I want you. You are more than good enough. You’re braver than meby far. I want you. Even with the challenges. Everyone has challenges.”
“True, but not like this… No, we can’t be together.”
Her eyes swim with unshed tears, and she swallows again. My heart screams. I want to be her mate, her protector, her lifeline. But she can’t be stuck with a potential murderer as a mate. It’s wrong for a thousand reasons.
Coward that I am, I look down at our joined hands. “You can’t be tied to me like I’d hoped. But we can still visit. Can we do that? Will you agree to be my friend if this settles down? That wouldn’t be so bad, would it?”
What I would give to know what she is truly thinking.
Chapter 17
