“I couldn’t even if I wanted to,” I said gruffly into the warm skin that smelled like cinnamon, sugar, and styling products. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m sorry I scared you away. Don’t you know by now how much I…” I swallowed, wanting to say the words so badly but still afraid of scaring him. “Don’t you know by now how much I adore you and want to be with you?”
Stevie’s whole body trembled in my arms. “I fucked up, Evan.”
“Well, then, it’s a good thing you have a partner who does the same and who’ll do anything to fix it for you, now isn’t it?” I lifted my head up to be able to see as I carried him into the house. I didn’t even bother stopping in the living room. Instead, I took him into my bedroom, where I noticed the bed was made up nicely even though I’d left it a jumbled mess. “Did you make my bed, sweetheart?”
He kept his head down on my chest. “Yeah. I slept here the other night. You said I could.”
I laid him down gently in the center of the big bed and began removing his shoes and socks. He kept his eyes closed as if afraid to make eye contact with me. “Stevie, thinking of you sleeping here in my bed while I was gone… I wish I’d known. I want you here every night.”
He nodded but didn’t say anything else. I kicked off my own shoes, emptied my pockets, and climbed up next to him, lying on my side facing him so I could smooth the hair from his face.
“Look at me,” I whispered. “Please don’t hide your beautiful eyes from me, Stevie.”
When he opened them, they were on the verge of overflowing. “Why do you put up with me? I’m a hot mess.”
I leaned in to sip the tears as they slid out. “Baby, you were born a hot mess. Did it ever occur to you that’s part of what I findincredibly attractive about you? You’re fun and flirty, bright and happy. You are never boring and always filled with surprises. Being with you is like opening a new gift every single day. I knew you were a hot mess before I fell for you. But I worry I’m too bossy and overprotective for you. I don’t want to dull your sparkle. It would crush me if I were ever the cause of your unhappiness.”
His hand came up to caress my face, and I finally saw the beginnings of a smile. “What if I like being bossed around and protected by a big strong fire chief?”
I couldn’t wait any longer. I leaned in to take his mouth in mine. He tasted both salty and sweet, the perfect combination. The kisses began slow and tender but escalated quickly as soon as our bodies remembered how fucking badly they wanted each other. Within a few short moments we were panting and grinding, fingers grabbing on to hair and zippers painful against hard cocks.
“Please,” Stevie begged. “Please make love to me without a big conversation. I want you. That’s enough. Please, Evan.”
Something about the way he worded it made the puzzle pieces click together until I finally understood. Stevie wasn’t a child, and he needed me not to treat him like one especially when it came to sex. He deserved my respect. And a man respects another man to make the decision that’s right for him and reach out for help if needed. He hadn’t reached out for help.
I was an idiot.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured against his mouth. “I only ever wanted to make sure you were okay. I never meant to?—”
His mouth opened in a grin and his eyes shone. “I know. You thought you were looking out for me. But thank you for listening to me now. I’m ready. I’m past ready. And I want you so badly I think I might come in my jock.”
The word “jock” set off a nuclear reaction in my nuts. I ripped off his pants to reveal a neon yellow jock with electric-blue rotary telephones on them. Where the hell did he find such insane undergarments?
His slender legs were curved with muscle, and I ran my nose up the inside of a thigh to bury it in the front of his jock.
“Holy fuck, you are so damned sexy,” I said, inhaling him. “I swear to god, no one has ever turned me on as much as you do.”
“Even a woman?”
I stopped what I was doing and crawled over him to press our foreheads together. When our eyes met, he must have seen the intensity in my gaze. I was getting ready to lay down some truth for him so he’d never doubt my affection again, but before I could speak, he rushed to cut me off.
“Never mind. That was stupid and insensitive. I’m sorry.”
“You need to know that I find you more attractive thananyone. Male, female, real, imaginary. Anyone.”
Stevie’s legs wrapped around my hips, and he arched his cock up into my belly. I wanted him desperately, but I wasn’t going to continue undressing him until we were clear on this topic. It was important. I’d dated plenty of people in the past who didn’t quite understand what it meant to be bisexual. I couldn’t afford for Stevie to be one of them.
“I know. I do,” he said. “It was just a moment of insecurity. I’m…” He sighed. “There are going to be moments of insecurity, Evan. You’re so much more experienced and together than I am, and sometimes I feel like…”
I waited for him to think of what he wanted to say.
“Sometimes I second-guess why someone like you would want to be with someone like me.”
I relaxed into him and grinned. “God, that’s the easiest thing in the world. I told you already, but I’ll tell you again as many times as you need to hear it to believe me. You’re sweet and fun and kind. You’re loyal and dedicated. Do you know that you make funny nicknames for people? And you’ll stop whatever you’re doing to help someone carry something heavy even though you’re a tiny little thing. You also sing like an angel, but never when you think other people can hear you. And you talk back to yourself in public, which is totally entertaining even though, or maybe especially because, you have a potty mouth. You also do this hip-shimmy thing to get your car doorto close right on rainy days. And when you talk about your baby sister, your mouth automatically widens in a gorgeous grin.”
I opened my mouth to add to the list of what made him so damned special, but he grabbed me by the face and pulled me in for a deep kiss instead.
I guessed he got the message.
