She’s fighting me, rotating her body, hitting the umbrella—I’d turn extremely pissed if she breaks it—blindly attempting at grabbing my hair. She grips my horns instead, pulling them off. I push my knee on her back and yank harder, my fingers turning white around the smooth wood and colorful fabric.
“You’re a naughty one. Need to be punished,” I pant. “Santa is really disappointed in you… if you care what an old judgy dude with a penchant for cavity-inducing tidbits thinks.”
Wednesday’s shriek makes me shift to my left to check on her just as the bitch drops my horns and pulls a taser out of her pocket, shoving it back toward my groin. The loud crackling noise and bright pulsing light makes me jump back sliding the umbrella off her neck. She turns toward me, taser high in front of her—did she use it on the kids she kidnapped? She has her glaring eyes focused on me while she keeps coughing.
This is not going to end up like my last maggots. This is my final initiation, and I’m going to kidnap the kidnapper!
I’m trying to find the best way to go about this when Wednesday comes to my help once again. My fearless lady jumps on the house railing and then flaps her wings, landing on the bitch’s shoulder. The woman screams like a banshee, letting go of the taser. I toss the umbrella in the air, grab it again from the point with both hands and with a hard swing—which would have produced an ovation in a baseball stadium—I thrust the wooden handle right into her face. Blood and spit fly out of her mouth as she loses her balance.
The blow is so well-placed she drops on the dried grass like a wall of bricks. But to me it looks like the most spectacular sight in the world.
“That’s all she wrote, folks!” I exclaim with satisfaction to…no one.
The maggot’s chest is still moving. She’s out, but alive.Alive!I soundly kiss my umbrella, “smack” and take a spin of victory. Seems like the curse is finally fucking broken. Right?
I grab my horns from the ground and slide them over my head as I pocket the bitch’s knife. Then I taser her—she deserves it! Once is not enough so I enjoy the fifty-thousand-volt electric shock going through her jolting body another time.
Then I turn to my hen with a beaming smile and find her on the porch railing, again giving me that strange look. I take a step toward her, and I see something flashing in her red eyes…flames? I blink, and they are gone. But the feeling of wrongness is still there.
“Krampus?” I whisper hesitantly. “Are you inside my hen?” Okay,thatcame out wrong.
Raph appears on the house porch, halting my conversation with a demon. He’s holding his bloodied helmet under his arm, and his jeans are ripped at the knee, but otherwise, he looks his arrogant, psycho self.
“Opal and Hunter are coming to get the kid; they will take him to the police. They’ll make up a story. Rami is on his way to help you with the donor.”
“The people in the house?”
“They were human traffickers. Turns out, your donor is well known around pedophiles, child pimps, and black-market organ sellers,” he informs me.
I feel bile trying to reach my throat as I glare at her body on the ground. How long has this been going on? How many other children did she kidnap? I taser her again, pressing the device harder on her chest. This maggot has to die a slow, agonizing death. And I have just the right way. Need to ask Ash for a favor, though. Fuck!
Raph waits for me to finish before he adds, “Rague will take care of the cleaning.”
He will probably use fire to get rid of all the evidence—in other words the blood and gore Bully Boy left inside the house.
“I need to pick up Michael from work and get the fuck out of this hellhole. Here.” Raph throws me a rope. “For the donor. Gag her as well, just in case she’s a screamer.” He then mounts his bike and drives away, leaving a wave of dust behind.
“Does he know there’s blood on his helmet?” Petunia’s question suddenly reminds me she’s here.
“Uhm, pretty sure he wants to show it to his husband.” Michael shares Raph’s love for gore. “He’s a medical examiner.”
“Oh. No vampires, pity.” She really looks disappointed. “Irving, the child, is fine. He conked out in the taxi. Too much crying, poor kid.”
That’s a relief. I walk to Petunia’s car to check on him. He's asleep in the back seat just like she said.
“Are the police coming?” she asks me, as I proceed to tie up the kidnapper, she even helps me to gag the maggot.
I shake my head. “Problems with the people in blue?” I lift an eyebrow at her.
“The Smurfs?” She smiles jokingly.“Let’s just say the dislike is well reciprocated.” It’s a vague reply that turns her smile into a mischievous smirk.
“So, can I count on your discretion then, flowery Petunia?” I give her my best Gabe-intense stare.
“Are you kidding me? What you did here was freaking amazing! You’re like a gentleman ninja. That umbrella stuff? Pow. Bam. Bada boom,” she exclaims with enthusiasm. “I need to learn that. And-and your pet bird with her little cape flying behind her? She is like-like your side kick!” Wednesday is still staring from the porch railing. I bow my head at her…him?
“Then again, your friend with the helmet is the scariest dude I’ve ever seen.”
I snort. She has no idea.
