“Are you finally going to tell me, Mellie?”
I frown. Assuring my increasingly beating heart that he can’t possibly be referring to Russel. “Tell you what exactly?”
He keeps watching me with an irritatingly innocent expression on his face. I know that expression very well. He’s waiting for me to spill the beans, using the most lethal weapon against me. His freaking silent gaze. I hate that gaze and he knows it. It’s like a you’re-safe-to-open-up Dr.Phil shit and it makes me talk every time.
I turn my head toward the dance floor. Slow, smooth music is playing and people are swaying their bodies. Some smiling, others too lost in the rhythm. Jordie and Daniel are still looking at the damn pictures. And I can feel Sam’s manipulating stare on me while time is slowly crawling by, like a turtle in a puddle of mud.
I suddenly explode. “I can’t tell you, Sam. Please stop it with your ninja shit.”
He exhales loudly and places his beer on the counter. “I know, okay?”
“Know what?”
“About you and Russel.”
My breath gets stuck inside my lungs.
“I was home the other day when you two…” His face turns as red as his aunt Betty’s tomatoes, and the flush keeps going, reaching the tip of his ears.
“Oh…” He must have overheard Russel and me going at it.Mother Mary and the baby Jesus!
“Yeah. Oh!” His mocking is not deserved. “By the way, I almost knocked myself out with the toilet lid.”
“Sorry,” I say sheepishly.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He doesn’t look hurt, just puzzled.
“It’s Russel’s first time with a guy. I promised him I’d keep it quiet.” I take a drink from my cocktail, trying to hide my sudden uneasiness. The list of my future boyfriend requirements is burning a hole inside my pocket, reminding me of my promise to look for a guy who treasures me and doesn’t shove me back into the closet.
“And are you okay with that?” Sam knows me too well.
I shrug. Am I? Not entirely. Russel doesn’t treat me badly. Quite the opposite. Still, I feel like…
“He’s using me to explore this sexual awakening. While I’m using him for his Capitan-America-hot body. Win, win, right?”
“You surely sounded into it the other day.” He makes a pinched face. I understand. He’s like a brother to me, and hearing him have sex would be like pineapple on pizza…gross.
“I just want him to pin me down and fuck me!” I blurt out, so happy to be able to talk about it.
“First, thank you for thedeflatingimage. I’ll make sure to use it and then kill myself afterwards.”
I punch him in the shoulder, but being a big fucker, it must feel like a light pat to him.
“Just tell him.”
I sniff. “He’s a bossy fucker. If he wanted to do it, he would have already. And it’s his first time with a man.” I don’t want to push him.
“I don’t see what the issue is there.” Of course he doesn’t. Sam is the most open-minded person in the world.
“Of course not. You’re handsome and bold. You can get away with anything.”
“Not everything. Jessica dumped me.” He looks like a kicked puppy. But I’m fucking glad. She was a bitch. I don’t like to meddle, but I don’t know why Sam always goes for high-maintenance, stuck-up beauty queens. He deserves to find a nice, down-to-earth girl.
“I’m sorry.” That he’s hurting because of it. Not about the breakup.
“I need to do something with my life if I want to get her back.”
“What?”
