Chapter 1
Theconductvariance
I take a long puff from my cigarette. The warm, thick smoke pours down my throat, invading my lungs, resting there a couple of seconds before I slowly push it out. A grey cloud appears before my eyes, hiding for a moment the busy street, short mismatched buildings, and sporadic car passing by.
July in Newnan is so damn hot. A light breeze is coming from the ocean, barely shifting the sticky air. I can feel the sweat forming on my lower back under the black shirt I’m wearing. As an accountant, I need to be careful attire-wise, and dress in a distinct, certain way for my clients. They expect a boring, no-nonsense, resolute person taking care of their affairs. Which is not such a big effort for me. But during the inferno-hot months, long-sleeved shirts and suit jackets are not ideal. And because of my big bulk it’s not easy to find garments that fit. That’s why I usually opt for jeans to finish my ensemble.
I place the half-smoked cigarette between my teeth to impeccably roll up my sleeves. I fucking hate summer. The sweat, body odors, the whole consequent mess. My eternal thanks to whoever invented air-conditioning, since working in this heat would equal to one of the circles of hell from Dante’s Inferno. I should probably go and enjoy some vacation days, but idle hands have never been my thing.
I lean my hip on the grey brick wall and my eyes fall on Ink Me, the tattoo shop window on my left. Kaiden, the owner, is on the phone at the reception counter, while four clients are sitting on the white sofas in the waiting area. The shop is always packed. I look down at my inked forearm. The line of my bear tattoo has gotten blurry. Some pieces are missing. I should take an appointment to refresh it. Not with Kaiden though. He is a great tattoo artist—or so I’ve heard—but he’s batshit crazy. There’s a prank war going on between him and my boss, Cole. I thought that was one of those goofing-around experiences reserved for college. Boy, was I fucking wrong.
Yesterday, Cole’s face became so red I was afraid it’d blow up. But maybe I’d turn into a puffer fish too if I found my office looking like a bachelorette party venue. Dick-shaped balloons, naked men paper chains, jockstraps, beer pong signs, acan’t spell happiness without penisbanner, and rainbow glitter everywhere.
Kaiden is the only person who can turn my collected, laid-back friend and boss into a puffy fire-spittingdevil—as Kaiden calls him. And I have to admit it is entertaining to watch. Only watch.
I don’t want to get entangled in their craziness. Asher, my colleague, is of the same idea. His boyfriend, Jordan, is Kaiden’s brother and his complete opposite. Guess insanity skipped one person in their family.
I look at my tattoo again while I outstretch my arm to stub out the cigarette into the outdoor ashtray. I can ask Daniel or Pete, the other two artists working at Ink Me to fix it. They look sane enough. As if I’ve summoned them, they arrive, holding takeout food bags judging by the delicious smell wafting toward me.
Pete has his big arm around Daniel’s shoulder, and the smaller guy is smiling at him with such love…it’s too much for my eyes.
“Hey, Russel.” Daniel turns his beaming smile at me, while Pete barely gives me a nod. He tucks his new boyfriend even closer to his side and kisses his head. Since I met them they’ve always been this affectionate with each other, so it wasn’t such shocking news that they became an item a few weeks ago.
They’re so different from one another and not just physically. Pete is an aloof—bordering on rude—giant behemoth, almost as big as me. While Daniel is a delicate, sweet flower with big blue eyes and gentle manners.
“Hey, guys. I’d like to fix my tattoo.” I show them my forearm. Daniel leans over it to get a better look. But Pete doesn’t let him go very far from him, holding him with his hand on the shoulder. “Are you available?”
“Do you want to just fix the black lines? Because I could add a splash of color.”
I look at Daniel in contemplation.
“You should let him do it. He’s amazing at what he does,” Pete intercedes, making Daniel blush and look down at his black Converse.
“Still not accepting my compliments, little dove. I do love you all flushed and innocent-looking, but…” He then whispers something else into Daniel’s ear, turning his cheeks firetruck red. A satisfied smile appears on Pete’s face, and he proceeds to turn his green cap backward and tilt his boyfriend’s chin up with his index finger to leave a quick kiss on his lips.
I look at how easily the two guys act around each other, showing a genuine fondness for one another. How would it feel to just…be with your partner? Be accepted with all your flaws? Let go of self-consciousness and fears? My last kind of serious relationship ended two years ago. She left me, saying I was cold and had no idea what fun and intimacy were. And maybe she was right. But I am still that same person, with more wrinkles marking my face and an obsessive cleaning and arranging behavior thatslightlyresembles a compulsive disorder. Even though my brother calls it full-on OCD.
“If you come to my office later I can take a pic of it and make a couple of sketches.” Daniel stops my mental tour down memory lane.
“Sounds good,” I say.
“Great! Around six?”
“Sure.”
He smiles with satisfaction and then turns toward the shop when Kaiden calls him. With a little wave of his hand, he goes inside—after giving Pete a kiss on his pec.
And I’m about to go back to work as well, when I catch the sight of Mel coming our way. He’s wearing a lime-green V-neck t-shirt, tight white shorts, and rainbow flip-flops. A yellow headband is keeping his messy, wavy brown hair away from his face, and his big chestnut eyes are hidden behind a pair of white, mirrored sunglasses. I get myself ready for his bold, relentless flirting. But all I get is a tight smile and a good morning before he disappears inside the shop.
“Weird,” Pete says, stealing the word from my confused mind. Every time Mel sees me he can’t help but flirt even though he knows I’m straight. Two days ago he meowed and then purred at me when I bent to pick up my jacket —the memory still makes my lips curl up.
He’s really something. His small body, colorful clothes, and restless energy remind me of a cute pixie.
“The shameless flirting has finally ended,” Pete grumbles. I frown at his words for some unfathomable reason. Maybe Mel is simply having a bad day. But when I look through the shop window he’s happily laughing with Daniel. That makes me frown even more.
I should feel relieved, if not indifferent about it. Finally, Mel realized I’m not interested in him. I have to admit it flattered me to have such an unyielding admirer. Still, it had to stop at some point. Guess this morning is that point.
Kaiden opens the shop’s door and leans halfway outside. “If it isn’t the devil’s confidant,” he says, looking at me. “What’s with the bunched-up eyebrows? It’s the usual on Pete.” Pete flips him the bird. “But on you, Russel…blank is more your style. What gives?”
