“Ivan and I had a disagreement in Seattle shortly before I left. I broke his heart, and then I left without saying anything to them. That decision hit him the hardest.” I fought back the tears. It was a small white lie, but the actual truth would kill her. I wouldnotburden her with that.
“I can promise you one thing: I never intended to hurt him. I’m still learning and don’t always make the best decisions, and Alek is fond of reminding me there are always consequences for my actions,” I whispered, looking at my lap.
“I’m really trying to be open-minded, but it’s all so odd. I originally thought you were playing my oldest and youngest against one another,” she said pointedly.
More prepared for this line of questioning, I blurted out, “I promise you it was never like that. I understand it’s inappropriate. It sort of just happened.” And that was true, for the most part.
“Things like this don’t just happen. Clearly, a choice was made by you, by Alek, by Ivan, and if I understand, even by Nik.”
“Yes, Ma’am.” I sat quietly, feeling exposed.
“I’ve seen Alek’s possessiveness over you. You mentioned that Nik and Alek wouldn’t let you leave easily. What exactly did you mean by that?”
“It’s hard to explain. It’s more overprotective than possessive,” I lied.
Her eyes narrowed. She didn’t believe me.
“My plan is not to cause any further damage between your sons. I need to leave and allow them to get on with their lives because you’re right. I get it. What we have is odd.” I whispered the last word.
As I swallowed back tears, a sense of betrayal washed over me. Saying our relationship was odd—i.e. inappropriate—aloud, agreeing with her even falsely, seemed to invalidate what we’d shared. Reducing our closeness to something trashy or worthless, that’s how it made me feel. Her subsequent silence was deafening.
“I think the fire in Seattle and the uncertainty created the perfect storm. Their very nature is to help those in need. Now that I’ve decided to pursue a career in dance, it only makes sense for me to bow out as graciously as I can.” Each lie I told made me feel like a horrible human being.
I waited for her to ask another question, but she never did. Finally, when I couldn’t stand the silence any longer, I said, “I’m so sorry, Sophia.”
“I’m just glad you’re willing to do the right thing,” she said, patting me on the hand.
We finished lunch, and I asked to be excused so I could be alone with my thoughts. I wanted to tell Alek that he shouldn’t come tonight, but I also longed for him to hold me. I was torn, and as if he knew I was thinking about him, my phone pinged. Taking it out, I read his message.
REAPER:
Hey, how are you?
KINSLEY:
Missing you a lot. I think I blew it withyour mother.
REAPER:
I’ll be there soon.
KINSLEY:
It’s too late, the war is lost. I’d bet she is in her study, plans laid out before her in search of a naughtier kitten for you.
REAPER:
She can try all she wants. The only one I want right now is you.
KINSLEY:
Right now? Way to make me feel special. You know I have abandonment issues, right? It’s cruel to remind me I’m replaceable.
REAPER:
I never said you were replaceable, just that I need a naughty kitten. All you have to do is show me how naughty you can be, maintain it, and maybe even allow me to corrupt you further. Plus, aren’t you the one abandoning me and my brothers in three weeks?
KINSLEY:
