My mother sucked in her breath, and her eyes met my father’s. Why did she have to usethatword? Of all the words in the Russian language, why that one? It was Vanya’s favorite way of chastising us. She’d picked it up from our mother along the way. But coming from Kinsley’s lips, it was haunting. She had no idea the gamut of emotions she unleashed. But she was just getting started.
“Are you done? No? Bring it on, Blade. Is this what you wanted? A show?” She shoved me in the chest with her last set of words.
I fixated on her hand as it burned through my dress shirt, setting my skin on fire, almost. “You wantmeto grow up? How aboutyougrow up? How about you stop being so damned hateful and mean?”
She continued to shove me with each statement. Her breathing out of control and her body shaking. Anger was a beautiful color on her. “I’ve taken responsibility for what happened between us. I don’t blame you. I blame me, but even with that, it doesn’t give you the right to call me a whore.”
“Truth hurts, huh? This is the last time I’ll tell you, little girl. You’d better get out of my face,” I growled, snatching her wrist.
Our father stepped between us. “Let her go, Son. Now.” He pried her hand from mine.
“I can’t believe I ever loved you,” she said, rubbing her wrist.
It was as though all the fight had been abruptly drained, leaving me breathless and vulnerable. The impact of her words struck me with a force I couldn’t ignore. It left me reeling, and I could only stare at the small ball of fire. We’d never spokenwords of love. Now I didn’t know what to do. Stomping over, I barked at the butler to move out of my way, then grabbed the bottle behind the bar and poured myself a double.
“Alek, maybe you should take Kinsley home before someone gets hurt. And you, young man, will sit your ass down. We’re going to have a long talk,” my father said, handing Kinsley off to Marcel.
Nik and Sebastian were keeping Alek at bay for the moment, while Marcel tried to pull her toward the door and away from me.
With a boldness that surprised even me, Kinsley turned to my father. “Mr. King, your son has already hurt me in a thousand ways. Even if he were to kill me with his bare hands, he couldn’t hurt me any more than he already has.”
I turned my back on all of them, a surge of self-hatred flooding my veins. It was a bitter reminder of my foolishness. The weight of my actions made me feel like a complete and utter idiot for failing to keep my big mouth shut. Every word I’d spoken tonight echoed around in my head.
“I can’t believe I ever loved you.”
I’d add those to my list of tormenting words uttered by her. Alek was right. I shouldn’t have fucking come tonight. I wasn’t ready to see her—not here in our home. The raw ache within me only intensified as I faced the reality of the situation.
Chapter 20
Kinsley
Face Down
The ride home wasspent in silence; no one really knew what to say. Seeing them fight tore me up inside. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. If it continued, I would be to blame for the fracture of their once unbreakable bond.
My hands sat useless in my lap, fingers twisted together just to keep them from trembling. There wasn’t anything left to say, and even if there had been, I wouldn’t have trusted my voice to carry it.
When I couldn’t take another moment of silence, I spoke. “Look, we all know I have to go. I can’t stand the tension between Ivan and you both. I should just leave now,” I said, turning to Nik and Alek.
“We aren’t discussing this right now,” Alek declared.
Of course he’d take the authoritarian approach instead of being reasonable. My heart sank, and a rush of conflicting emotions burned inside me. Anger flared once again, and a desire to fight back against his control emerged.
“I would love nothing more than to stay, but I refuse to put anyone else in danger over something that none of us can change. I have been a curse since the day I was born. I’m destroying your family, and I won’t do that.”
“Malyshka, I’m going to caution you once more. I won’t hear that kind of talk coming from your mouth again,” Nik warned, and I sighed. There was no use in trying to get them to understand.
Marcel eyed me closely. I knew he agreed with Nik but refrained from chastising me further. I sat in quiet contemplation the rest of the way home, trying to figure out if I should take a chance on my own or wait for Sebastian’s contact. I had the info from Owen’s other letter now.
I turned my face to the window, the passing scenery blurring as numbness set in. I bit my tongue, trying to hold back the words that threatened to escape. Alek’s refusal to even entertain the conversation might as well have been a door slammedin my face. It reminded me how trapped I was by the circumstances and the people I loved.
My hands clenched into fists in my lap, my nails digging into my palms as I struggled to keep my emotions in check. Everyone remained silent, eyes fixed on their phones or outside. Taking a shaky breath, I reminded myself this wasn’t the time or place to argue.
A tear slipped down my cheek, and I wiped it away, hoping no one would notice. Alek, of course, did, and as soon as Marcus stopped the car, he stormed off. His anger left me feeling frustrated and concerned all in one.
Should I follow after him?My eyes stung, and I moved to go after him. But Sebastian grabbed my elbow.
“Let me handle him, tiny tot,” he said, kissing my check. “You’re a lucky man, Nikolai. I hope you know that.”
