I clenched my fists. They didn’t even know her.
“I’m sorry, but they should have kept a better eye on her. With everything she—” a man said, and I went ballistic.
At sixteen, I was already quite large and worked out faithfully, so I tackled the guy and attempted to beat the living shit out of him. Marcel and Sebastian tried to stop me, but in the end, my father and brothers pulled me off.
I stormed off and made my way to Vanya’s room. It still smelled faintly like her, and I lay down on her bed and cried like a baby. Several minutes later, the guys joined me. They all sat on the floor, waiting for me to get it together.
Finally, when I stopped, Marcel spoke up. “Ivan, the anger you feel is justified. We need to channel it. If you could do one thing right now, what would it be?”
“Kill the motherfuckers who did this to her,” I answered, looking up. He nodded solemnly.
“Okay, you said earlier that you should have stayed with her. I’m assuming she asked you to?” Marcel was always good at getting a person to open up.
“Yes, but I didn’t, and now look at where we are.”
“That isn’t going to do you any good right now. Save that self-pity for someone else. Turn your face toward us, Brother, now,” Sebastian demanded.
“What is our motto?” Alek asked quietly.
“Not now. That stupid motto has no bearing on this,” I grumbled, swallowing back more tears.How much could a person actually cry?
“Bullshit, it was Vanya’s idea. One even Mother got behind. Say it,” Nik roared, shocking us all with his outburst. The veins in his neck stood out, and he looked like a complete stranger to me at that moment. It scared me enough to answer him.
“Fine. What is mine is ours.” My voice broke. I knew he was only trying to help. They were in as much pain as I was, but he was reminding me I wasn’t alone.
Our sister coined our motto years before, and thinking about that specific memory only made me choke on the emotions. I’d always looked up to her. Whenwe were younger, she was like a second mother to me. Whatever she said, I believed entirely; she was the smart one of our duet, like Nik was with Alek. Squeezing my eyes tight, I hugged her favorite bear to my chest like a child.
Rain fell from the afternoon sky as Nik, Alek, and I fought over a toy. The three of us wrestled, throwing elbows and punches like most eight- and nine-year-old boys did, trying to steal it from each other.
Vanya was reading off to the side and had had enough. She put her hands on her hips and flipped her long black hair over her shoulder.
“Dostatochno.”Enough, she yelled, getting our attention.
“You’re brothers, and as brothers, this silly toy belongs to all of you. There is no mine, there is only ours. Now you will share and take turns. You will not fight against your brother. You will only fight for him.”
“Yeah, well, what if I break it instead?” Nik said, taunting her like he loved to do. He was the last one who had the toy in his hand.
She rolled her eyes. “Well, that is pure foolishness on your part, then, Nikolai James, because then no one gets to play with it. What is wrong with you? Brothers don’t treat each other like that. Mother is always saying that you are your brother’s keeper, so you need to protect what is your brother’s, always.”
She took a deep breath and flashed her winning grin. The one that could get us to do anything for her.
“Now, the three of you will join hands.” She waited, tapping her foot as we grumbled at each other but did as she requested. She stepped between Alek and me, completing our circle of four.
“Repeat after me.” She cleared her throat and said, “I am my brother’s keeper. I shall not keep, nor hide, anything from my brother. I will always be honest and stand beside him whenever he is in need. I’ll honor him, fight beside him, and protect whatever is his. For what is his is ours, and what is mine is ours. Iammy brother’s keeper.”
Even when she was little, she was fiercely protective of her family.
So sitting in Vanya’s room, Alek asked once more, “What is our motto, Brother?” And the next thing I knew, the five of us were joining hands and repeating Vanya’s words.
Chapter 3
Ivan
A Present Day Silence
Shadows danced across mywalls as I sat in the dim light of my bedroom, hunched on the edge of the unmade bed. The one I was supposed to be sharing with Kinsley tonight. The blinds were half closed and let in the late-afternoon sun. The warmth of the day may as well have not existed, because all that remained was a cold numbness inside.
I was hiding out. I couldn’t be in the same space as Kinsley at the moment. Our day played on a loop in my mind, tormenting me. My behavior had been inexcusable, driven by a moment of madness that left me hollow. I hurt her.
