I was floating, lost in a sea of contentment. My eyes drifted closed, and tears trailed down my cheeks as I bawled. Alek kissed my neck, nuzzling it before slipping out. My emotional responses never frightened him. He instinctively knew, and that made me love him all the more. Reaching for me, he engulfed me in his arms, and I let go. Gut-wrenching sobs racked my body.
Holding me against his chest, he whispered, “That’s it, sweetness, let it all out. Shh, I’m here. I’ll never let you go. I’ve got you, always.”
Nik whispered, “Is she okay?” His voice dripped with concern as he joined us back on the bed.
“It’s our thing,” Alek said, and I looked up. His face beamed, a knowing look spreading across his face.
He rubbed my back. I was so in tune with this man. The freedom of being cradled in his arms, knowing he could shoulder my emotions, had my heart swelling. The overwhelming mix of love and vulnerability of what we’d all done had me crying harder. I didn’t even realize Nik had gotten up until a warm washcloth moved between my legs, but Alek halted him.
“Wait. My cum is spilling out. We can’t have that, now, can we?” He gathered what was dripping from me and shoved it back inside with his fingers, and my sore pussy had me groaning. “I’m going to put a fucking baby inside you. It’s my goal, just so you know,” he muttered, repeating the gesture.
Horrified by the thought, I gasped and pushed his hands away while he chuckled. He snatched the washcloth from Nik. “What? It’s true. The sooner you realize it, the better off we’ll all be.Mine,” he exclaimed, leaning over and kissing the top of my pussy before cleaning me.
“You meanours?” Nik said, punching his arm.
“Yours, mine, ours. You know it’s all the same thing,” Alek said casually to Nik before moving up my body. He kissed the tip of my nose as contentment coursed through me.
Chapter 15
Nikolai
What If?
After I cleaned herup, she asked to use the bathroom. When she came back, she looked so small and shy. Alek patted the middle of the bed, and she climbed right in between us. She lay on her stomach while I ran my fingers up and down her back, staying away from her scars.
Her face was radiant, and her eyes grew heavy and soon closed. Her deep, even breathing letting us know she was asleep. My eyes found Alek’s, and he shrugged. Each of us was comfortable and confident in our own skin.
We weren’t ever competitive with one another. There was never a reason to be. Our bond was deep, and as I lay there, Kinsley between us, I thought about how this sweet girl completed us as brothers.
Her love for us was as individual as we were. But there was this layer to her that respected our brotherly bond. She had no desire to make one of us her favorite or to cause strife between us. It was a strange dynamic we had created.
Seeing her let go emotionally with Alek in the way she did further hit home that our relationships with her were unique. I’d felt it in Seattle, but seeing it firsthand only had me falling harder.
A tight, restless flutter stirred low in my gut. I shifted slightly, careful not to wake her, but the feeling didn’t ease. I suddenly needed space. After throwing on my boxer briefs, I sat in the chair.
The crackling flames in the fireplace danced before my eyes. My heart was heavy, burdened by emotions I’d never allowed myself to feel. I gazed once more at the bed, her sleeping form and peaceful face illuminated by the soft light. The weeks of turmoil in not knowing what happened to her had torn me up from the inside out. It was a constant reminder that love could be cruelly snatched away at the snap of someone’s fingers.
Haunting images of our sister, forever frozen in time as a reckless and hurt teenager, tormented me. The weight of her death was heavy on my soul tonight. She was proof that in the blink of an eye, everything could change.
All these years, I’d carried it like a self-imposed penance, holding myself back from the kind of deep connections that might’ve brought joy. Marriage, parenthood—the things she’d never get to have. In some twisted way, I’d convinced myself I didn’t deserve them either.
I had even gone into investigative work, fueled by the desperate need to find her, to bring her home. But as the years slipped away, every lead turning cold, I had to face the reality that no one else in the family would. She was gone, lost to us forever.
Although she and I weren’t twins, I’d always had a sixth sense with her. I’d lost the sense of her being alive years ago and never forgot the day it severed. When we finally received a letter, our great-grandmother’s broach, and her ashes, it was a confirmation of the truth I’d known deep in my soul for years.
The weight of knowing she was gone was still a constant ache, a hollow space in my head and heart. I hated how she chose to die alone, without us by her side. Shivering with the thought of my sweet sister and what might have been brought tears to my eyes.
Emotions, both unfamiliar and overwhelming, consumed me. Fear mingled with doubt. I’d always been guarded, cautious about opening my heart to any woman. Something in me died that summer when Vanya ran away. In various fucked-up ways, all of us had let one event in our lives dictate our futures. Bash and Marcel included.
It was one of the many reasons I had erected walls around my heart. But now, sitting here, watching Kinsley sleep, I couldn’t ignore the undeniable truth. Love had found a way into mine, and it demanded my full attention. The tiny dancer had unlocked something deep within me, and now I found myself vulnerable, exposed.
I was starting to understand what protecting her would really cost—and it wasn’t something I could measure in time or blood. Would we be able to do it without all the guys’ help? Movement out of the corner of my eye startled me. Alek’s piercing gaze met mine; he sensed the turmoil that consumed me. Our unspoken bond was a constant companion that dated back further than any other could or would, and it had me smiling.
“You always seem to know when I need you the most,” I breathed, sagging under the weight of emotions.
Alek took the remaining seat. “It’s what brothers are for, isn’t it? To be there in times of need. Talk to me.”
“I never thought I’d feel this way, not in a million years. Love is a foreign concept to me. Something I’ve always feared.”
