“I’m doing pretty good, mostly. It’s only been a couple of days. I think Mr. King likes me, and Mrs. King probably would if I wasn’t currently sleeping with two of her sons while secretly longing for the third.”
“I see, and how is that going?”
“The sex with Alek and Nik? Mind-blowing. But the heartache for Ivan is debilitating.”
“I meant how are you managing the emotional side of things? I have heard all about the mind-blowing sex already, ad nauseam,” I teased.
“All five of you are truly weird,” she huffed, shaking her head.
“Don’t tell me girls don’t swap stories about their men.”
“I don’t have friends, Counselor,” she whispered.
I met her gaze with a measured yet compassionate expression. I worried that her initial isolation from being taken and then Owen’s attempt to keep her safe had left her unable to form connections. Though she didn’t seem to struggle with any of us, but I’d never seen her around women. If only I had more time with her. But for now, I turned my attention to something I had control over.
“Let’s talk about the heartache and Ivan.”
She took a deep breath and fixed the bottom of her dress over her thighs. “I understand more now. Alek told me about Vanya. Having that knowledge is both a blessing and a curse.”
“I see. Have you thought about writing Ivan a letter? It might be good to get your feelings out, to express yourself. At the end of the day, you don’t have to give it to him if you aren’t comfortable. It’s a great exercise in coming to terms with the reality of the situation.”
“But the bitter truth is, I don’t deserve his forgiveness. Some things are unforgivable.I’munforgivable.”
I listened intently as she uttered those haunting words, the weight of them lingering in the room. “Ms. Taylor,” I said, my tone lightly reprimanding her.
I understood more than most that beneath her statement was a yearning for absolution, and I wanted to kick Ivan for being such a stubborn ass.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured, seeking my approval.
“So you sent the guys your list of hard and soft limits. How did that make you feel?” I asked, changing the subject.
“Freeing, surprisingly. Did you see it?”
“I did. Alek forwarded it to me. Remember how I told you back in Seattle about his unfortunate encounter?”
“Yes,” she said, sitting up straight.
“He’s given me permission to share a little more. Do you want to know what happened?”
“Yes, please.”
“When Alek was starting out in the lifestyle, his mentor introduced him to a woman who became his sub. The start of their relationship didn’t have any red flags, but as time went on and they explored their limits with one another, some little things started to show.” I paused, studied her, and then proceeded. She tried to keep her face neutral, but she had the burning desire to ask a thousand questions in her special way.
“He later found out she had significant trauma but was excellent at hiding it. After a particularly rough scene, one in which he felt went too far, he tried to talk to her. She refused to seek help.”
“What happened in the scene, if I may ask?”
“The actual scene details aren’t important. Just know she should have used her safeword. And he should have stopped before he did. You’ve heard of sub drop, yeah?”
“Yes, Sir. I’ve read quite a bit about it while I researched,” she stated confidently.
“Dom drop is just as real and happens more than it’s talked about. The scene itself ended with her turning his aftercare down completely. She was angry that he stopped the scene. Being unable to have that important connection after, he himself was emotional. It wrecked him. I was at the club that evening and could immediately tell he wasn’t in a good space.”
“You’re all so close. Despite how much I tease, it’s really a wonderful thing what you all have. I wish I had something like that.” She whispered the last part so softly I had to strain to hear her words.
“It is unique and something we work hard at maintaining. You ready to hear more?”
She nodded, and I picked up where I’d left off.
