Elias had shifted his bare feet to the coffee table, his long legs stretched out in gray sweatpants that rode low on his bare, ripped stomach.
Her heart pounded like a thoroughbred racing for the finish line, and she noted the way those sooty lashes of his had lowered, giving him an intense, heavy-lidded stare that made her want to throw caution to the wind and??—
She shoved an elbow into the cushion behind her and surged toward him, her lips finding his awkwardly as she kissed him. She just—kissedhim. Because if this moment never happened again, she wanted to know what his kiss felt like.Hadto know. Had to thank him andknow.
Because maybe it would break whatever it was drawing her to him like this. Be an awful, gross experience that would shatter the illusion of…more.
Like breath, she needed this kiss, this melding of lips and warmth and connection that shot her pulse to warp speed and pulled a soft hitch that turned into a groan from him as her weight landed atop his shoulder and chest seconds after her lips landed on his.
Her fingertips touched the stubble on his face, drifted over the hard jawline, one fingertip edging the corner of his unbelievably soft yet so often unyielding lips pressed to her own.
She felt one of his hands slide into her hair, and tingles raced down her spine when he gripped, his other hand at her waist, unmoving but there. Holding, supporting her as she maintained contact and reveled in the scent and feel and sweetness of the quiet night, of him and the headiness, the awareness of what might be if her life wasn’t the disaster she’d made it with so many bad decisions.
Breaths were shared as long seconds passed with the world disappearing as they kissed. Elias stayed still and frozen until another sound tore from deep in his throat, his chest, and his grip on her eased before tightening again. Not painfully, justmoreas he pulled her tightly against him, taking over the kiss until she wasn’t sure where one ended and another began. Until it was just the two of them and deep, drugging kisses that welded stars and fire andeverythingtogether.
With a ragged, broken sound that came deep from his soul, he used his hold to end the kiss, to push her away while staring at her like he wanted to devour her whole before his expression blanked and he surged to his feet to stalk away from her.
She stilled against the cushions and tried to calm her pulse and the lightheadedness that came with…whatever that had been. Whatever the exchange had turned into, that had nothing to do with an innocent, exploratory kiss given to someone she wanted to show her appreciation to, someone she’d grown to care about, a thank-you for all he’d done for her, tothat. A kiss seemingly filled with all the things she and Rhys had lacked.
Shock rolled through her as she grappled with the surge of thoughts and reprimands and all things internal for how she could be engaged days ago yet find a stranger so…
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I should’ve stopped you.”
She blinked at him and sank deeper into the cushions, watching Elias as he paced, a hand at his mouth as though his lips tingled and ached for more the way hers did at the moment. Yeah, because if she was honest with herself, and while standing on that balcony clinging to the edge, she’d promised herself moving forward that she would be— She feltall the tingles.
And none of the grossness. Yeah, that plan backfired, didn’t it?
“I forgot myself— I apologize, Quinley. That won’t happen again.”
“Why not?” The question emerged from her before she thought better of it, drawn from inside her like a moth to a flame. She couldn’t help it though. That kiss—thosekisses—they’d been…everything kisses should be. Everything missing from those she’d shared with her ex-fiancé. “And why areyouapologizing? I kissed you.”
She watched as he ran a hand over his hair, raking through the strands so hard she imagined he lost more than a few in the pulling.
“You’re…confused.”
“Am I?”
“You’re reeling from everything going on and—rebounding. I shouldn’t have lost control like that. You just caught me by surprise.”
She canted her head to one side as a few pieces of a very complicated puzzle slipped into place like the one they’d left unfinished on the coffee table. “Youreallylike being in control, don’t you.” It wasn’t a question, more an observation.
His strict routine of a morning workout, his diet, his work ethic. They were all based on rigid control, like he couldn’t breathe or function without them.
“It was just a few kisses, Elias. And really good ones, if I’m honest.”
He released a sound under his breath, but his body language spoke volumes. Yeah, he really didn’t like his reaction to her. But why?
“Come on, it’s okay. I can’t be the first woman who’s kissed you,” she said, trying to lighten the tension. “Or the first one you’ve kissed back.”
“Of course not.”
“Then why are you so,” she waved a hand at him, “upset?”
“Because you’ve got enough going on without adding more fuel to the fire,” he told her, practically spitting the words. “You’re vulnerable, and—you don’t know what you want. You’ve said so yourself.”
Fair point. Still. “IknewI wanted to kiss you. So I did. I’m not sorry, either. I might be confused about a lot of things, but—I’m not confused about that,” she told him firmly, maintaining eye contact.
Elias raked more fingers through his hair, and she felt sorry for his poor head as she watched him pace. He’d kissed her back, and she knew instinctively his upset and anger had more to do withthatthan anything. He’d lost control.With her.
