“I don’t know how far along I am. But that’s why I need to leave now. I can’t stay for another few months because I won’t be able to travel after that, and I need to go home and set myself up.” Each word tumbled out of my mouth faster and faster. I had to get this all out. I needed them to understand that I wasn’t going to demand they change their entire lives for me.
“I need to get a job and find a place. I promise I wasn’t going to ask you for any money. I was going to do this on my own. I know I broke the deal. I know that getting pregnant wasn’t what we agreed and not even what you wanted, but….”
I wiped my tears with the heel of my hand and looked away from them. I was curled into myself, trying to make myself smaller. I wanted to disappear. “I don’t want to be a burden,” I whispered.
“Are… are you serious?” Linc asked.
I snapped my head up at his tone. I’d expected him to be angry, even disappointed, but there was excitement in his voice and wonder in the sparkle in his eyes. He smiled, then let out a whoop and dragged me closer to him. I squeaked out a protest, but he didn’t ease up until I was practically sitting on Trav’s legs. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pressed a smacking kiss to my temple.
“You’re having a baby?” Trav asked.
I bit my lip and nodded.
“But what about us?” he pressed, a little put out. “We don’t get to be dads?”
Tears sprang to my eyes again, and I shook my head. “I don’t know who the dad is.” I looked at Linc and winced. “I’m showing already.” I left it unsaid that he couldn’t be the dad.
“But it’s one of us?” Jacques asked, but it was more of a statement. He crossed his arms over his chest, and the hurt in his eyes stole my breath. “Were you not even going to tell us? Would we find out in fifteen, twenty years when the kid shows up on our doorstep to find out why we’d never been involved in their life? What in the world made you think we wouldn’t want this or even want to know?” He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Carina. I’m….”
He turned around and walked out of the room. My heart shattered as I watched him leave.
“The divorce,” I whispered. “That’s why I was going to do it by myself.”
“But you don’t need to,” Linc said gently. He cupped my chin and rested his forehead against mine. “I understand not wanting to feel like a burden.” He huffed out a laugh, but it held no humor. “Fuck, do I ever.”
When he pulled back, he pressed his lips together in a sympathetic smile. “But the thing is, Jacques has never once acted like he wants what we’re building to be over once he gets his contract renewal. He signed those papers foryou, to giveyouthe freedom to walk away. He didn’t want you to feel obligated to stay.” He brushed my hair off my face, his fingertips lingering near my chin. With his free hand, he clasped mine, interlacing our fingers and holding tight. “One of the things we discovered when we first started dating was that all three of us wanted kids. We’ve spoken about surrogacy before. Adoption too. We stopped talking about it when you came along.”
I tore my gaze away from Linc and turned to Trav. He was nodding, but it wasn’t the same head bob that he’d been doing while singing. He was focused, his eyes clear. He was serious, too, no smile to be seen on his face.
Linc squeezed my hand and when I turned back to him, he continued, “Jacques wanted to talk to you about kids, but you were at pains to assure us you were on birth control. He figured you didn’t want to entertain the idea of having another.”
“What are you saying?” I asked, disbelieving what I was hearing.
“I’m saying that I agree with Travis. No more open relationships, no more divorce, no more ending this after Jacques gets his contract renewal. We’re together. That means you stay with us. Permanently. We raise that baby together, the four of us.” He smiled, this one a whole lot more genuine than the others he’d given me. “Agreed?”
“What about Jacques?”
“Give him a minute. He’ll be back.”
“Are you going to stay, darlin’?” Trav asked cautiously.
“I never wanted to leave,” I whispered. Regret stole my voice. I’d been so mean. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I yelled and screamed, carrying on like a pork chop, and for what? If I’d just spoken to you, none of the heartbreak over the past few days would have happened.”
Trav reached for my other hand and squeezed it.
“This is bullshit,” Jacques said from the doorway. “I don’t want you to go. I want us together—all four of us. I’m in love with you. I think I always have been. I don’t want a divorce. I don’t want you on the opposite side of the world. I want you, and I want to be a dad.”
“I—I love you too,” I blubbered, my tears falling again. I slipped off the bed and went over to Jacques. “I love you and I love Linc and Trav too. I don’t want to leave either.”
He wrapped me in his arms and held me tight. I laid my head on his chest and listened to the steady beat of his heart. That’s what this man was. Steady and all heart. I breathed him in, soaking in the comfort and solace of his arms. There was no doubt—he gave the best hugs. They were healing and warm.
Jacques brushed his fingers through my hair, and I looked up at him. He wiped the tears from my cheek with his thumb, and I rose up on my tiptoes. Jacques pressed his lips to mine, a soft brush, almost tentative. My whimper was quiet, but he heard it. Jacques kissed me again, this time deeper and longer. His tongue stroked mine, touching and tasting me. It was slow and thorough, and it left me floating.
When he finally pulled back, he shocked me, dropping to his knees and touching my belly reverently. He pressed his lips just below my bellybutton and said, “Hey Peanut, I’m your papa. Dad and Daddy are over there. You’re so loved.” He laughed, a mix between a sob and a chuckle. “We can’t wait to meet you.”
I carded my fingers through Jacques’s hair and held him to me while I cried. Within moments, Linc was behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist to hold my belly. I leaned back against him and turned my face into the crook of his neck. He kissed my forehead, and Trav grumbled.
“Ah, a little help?”
