Two lines. Positive.
“Fuck,” I muttered, my voice tight. “Don’t tell anyone, not even Chris. Please. I need to…. I need some time.”
“I won’t. Your secret is safe with me.”
Giddy joy exploded in me, my heart dancing with delight. But it was immediately at war with the sense of foreboding in my gut, a dread that was so strong, it was strangling me. I had no idea what my future held and where I’d even be at the end of this year. This test complicated things.
A lot.
I hadn’t bargained on becoming a single mum, especially not in a country where I couldn’t legally work. But those divorce papers would be filed in just a few short months. I couldn’t go back on my word. I couldn’t tell Jacques I wanted to change the deal now, especially when I had no idea whose baby this was. If the Seals had wanted to avoid a scandal before, I could only imagine how badly the shit would hit the fan if the press found out I was carrying my husband’s roommate’s baby because I’d been fucking both since our wedding night. No matter what I did, whether I kept the baby or terminated the pregnancy, Jacques’s career could be on the line. Any kind of bad publicity, and he might not get his renewal. He could be sent back to the AHL or transferred across the country.
I should go. I should leave and let Jacques get back to focusing on hockey. I could blame homesickness and go home early. At least I could work then. I had job prospects and contacts that I could use to get me a decent enough job to rent a house and raise a child. Jacques’s agent would probably sue me and bankrupt me. But if I towed the line and put out a press release saying how much I loved Jacques but missed Australia too much, maybe people would understand. Wouldn’t they? They’d get over it. San Diego’s most eligible bachelor would be available again. If anything, it’d be a positive for the people.
But if I went home, I’d miss out on being near Cara.
My future was already complicated enough. But now I was being pulled in two different directions, and I had no idea which road to take.
twenty-eight
Jacques
Iknockedonthedoorto Carina’s room. She’d slept in there alone again last night. I missed having her in my arms, and with Travis finishing up a shift, our bed had felt too big with just Rusty and me in it.
But how could we argue with her when she kept insisting that she wasn’t sleeping? She had been tired, but I thought she’d been getting better. Her energy levels seemed to be improving until a few days ago. But then she’d moved herself back out of our bedroom and spent half a day in bed. She stayed behind the closed door and only ventured out to eat. She wasn’t even sitting down for meals with us.
I was worried about her. So were Rusty and Travis. We didn’t know what it meant for us. Everything had been going so perfectly, and Cara and Monroe were arriving this morning. Their flight was landing in a couple of hours. Carina had been looking forward to seeing her daughter as much as Hux had.
But there was no answer to my knock. I cracked open the door and saw Carina lying curled up under the sheet, facing the window. Her dark hair was splayed out on the sheets behind her, her shoulders rising and falling rhythmically as she breathed.
I slipped inside, walked around the bed, and perched my ass on the mattress where I could stroke her hair. It was silky soft to the touch, long and thick.
“Beautiful,” I whispered, then touched her arm.
She blinked open her eyes. They were red, as if she’d spent a sleepless night tossing and turning, and there were dark circles under her eyes. “I need to leave in about fifteen minutes to pick up Hux. Are you coming with us to the airport?”
“No,” she murmured, then rubbed her eyes. “You go. I’ll give Cara a few days to settle in before I see her.”
“You were excited to go. Is everything okay?” I asked quietly. It probably wasn’t the time to speak about things, but I needed to know.
“Just go, Jacques. Please. Just go.”
She closed her eyes again, dismissing me, and it was like a kick to the guts. I wanted her with me. I wanted to hold her hand while I drove, and I wanted to see her face light up when her daughter walked through those doors. But that wasn’t what she wanted. She was miserable, and I hated not being able to help. If I knew what was getting her down, I’d fix it in a heartbeat.
I’d even pick up the phone and talk to Mom and Dad. The last time we’d spoken, I’d told them not to bother getting in contact with me unless they were prepared to accept Carina. They’d left messages asking me to be reasonable. But I’d ignored all of them. Maybe she’d found out. Maybe she was missing Mom. Maybe I should call them.
I ran my fingers through her hair, but she pushed my hand away. I pressed my lips together, biting down the hurt, and nodded. If that’s what she wanted, if that’s what it took to make her happy, I wouldn’t touch her again. I slipped out of the room, closed the door, and rested my forehead against it. I needed a sign—something, anything, to tell me what to do to make her happy. But all that met me was a white painted door.
***
Hux was nervous as fuck. He was fidgeting and couldn’t stand still.
“Dude, relax,” I teased. He shoved his hands into his pockets and dropped his gaze. He swallowed hard and exhaled heavily.
I nudged him with my elbow. “They’ll be here,” I soothed. “It just takes time for them to go through customs.”
He nodded and pressed his lips into a forced smile. “Yeah,” he answered, his voice catching.
Then they were there, suitcases in hand as they crossed the concourse.
