Carina took a sip of her tea and sighed happily. “Thank you, it’s perfect even if half and half is nasty.”
Jacques ran his fingers through her hair, and she bit back a yawn.
“You’re tired,” Rusty stated. “We should get you home so you can put your feet up.”
“Yeah,” she sighed. “My ankles are all swollen too.” She stretched out her foot, pointing her toes, and sure enough, her ankles were swollen. She’d spent far too long on her feet today.
“Go home and put your feet up,” I instructed. “And don’t get back up.”
“I need to clean this up.”
“No, you don’t, ma’am,” the rookie said, interrupting our conversation. I hadn’t realized he was listening. “That’s my job.”
Carina yawned again and shook her head, trying to wake herself up.
“Go,” I said softly, squeezing her hand under the table.
“Come on, beautiful,” Jacques said. He flicked his gaze to Rusty and smiled when he saw he was already on his feet.
After a round of extended goodbyes and thank yous, I walked them out. I rested my hand low on Rusty’s back as soon as we were in the privacy of the corridor, and he leaned into my touch. I led them outside and around to the parking lot, and when we were in the privacy of the gap between Jacques’s SUV and another truck, I wrapped my arms around Rusty. He sank into my embrace and breathed, “Fuck, I needed that.” He squeezed me tighter.
I never wanted to let him go. I’d loved seeing them with my station mates, but I hated not being able to express how I felt in front of any of them. I wanted to hold my partners’ hands and kiss them. It struck me that we’d never even sat down for a meal with my station mates. There was a lot we did as friends and roommates, but if it looked like a date, we didn’t do it.
“Maybe you and I should come out,” I murmured, thinking out loud for the first time. He stiffened in my arms and pulled back enough to look at me.
“As a couple? For real?”
“Yeah, what do you think?” I shrugged, trying to play my comment off as casual despite my heart beating a million times a minute. I sucked in a breath and held it, waiting on his response.
“I haven’t told anyone about us because of Jacques and you not wanting his parents to know. They’re theonlyreasons.”
His reminder burst my bubble. I sighed and took a step back, leaning against Jacques’s SUV. I nodded. “Yeah, it’d sure be nice though.”
Rusty looked toward Carina, and then he slipped his hand into mine and squeezed.
“Don’t be afraid of losing Sophia and Pierre, Trav,” Carina said reaching for my waist and squeezing gently. She was confident, not a shred of doubt in her voice. “I’ve known them forever, and I know they’ll welcome you. It’s different with me—I betrayed them—but they’ll be ecstatic for you whether you say it’s just you and Linc or all three of you.”
Jacques reached over Carina and tangled his fingers in my hair. We brought our heads closer, not quite touching, but close enough, and I breathed them in, absorbing their support. I don’t know why I needed it. I was happy. I had everything I could have asked for. But I wanted more.
Rusty murmured, “I know you’re scared. I’ll never push you, so if you want to come out, I want that too. If not, then that’s okay too.”
I nodded and leaned in to kiss him, consequences be damned. I needed him. I needed the reminder of why I’d hidden how I’d felt for these men for so long. I needed the strength to keep doing it rather than shouting from the rooftops that I was in love with all three of them, Carina included.
My lips touched Rusty’s, and every emotion I’d been holding back the whole night overwhelmed me, flowing like the water after the levy on a dam breaks. I tugged him closer and grasped his nape before licking into his mouth. We stood there under the streetlight in the parking lot, kissing gently. It wasn’t going anywhere. We weren’t on a mission to get off. But it was reconnecting. It was comfort and love.
twenty-three
Carina
“Reachupandstretchyour fingers toward the sky. Plant your heels on the floor. Exhale slowly,” Linc murmured calmly. His voice was even and serene.
He was patient, stripping back his routine to the basics. From what I’d seen him do before, he concentrated on strength and control, regulating his breathing and almost moving into a meditative space.
I was nowhere near that level, but I’d wanted to learn the basics—sharing it with him felt important. He was alone so much; his business was so solitary, and aside from Jacques and Trav, he didn’t really get out much to see other people. I knew he liked it that way, but we would soon find ourselves alone together for longer stretches of time. With Trav at work and Jacques travelling once preseason training started and during the season after that, we’d likely spend the most time together out of all of us. We were already friends. I wanted us to be the very best of friends. I wanted to try the things he loved.
The problem was that although we were only just starting this yoga routine, I already knew it was going to push me to the limit. He was a good instructor; I wasn’t a great student.
I followed his direction, and he smiled and nodded. “Perfect,” he purred.
