I wouldn’t have survived without Zali. She was the one thing that kept me going. I’d still needed more than one reminder though. My friend Kristy had dragged me from the darkness more than once. She’d been a constant, reminding me that I still had my baby girl. Even though she’d just lost her husband, too, she’d held me together with her bare hands more than once. I’d repaid the favour when I could, but it never seemed enough.
We’d survived, but even as the years passed, Asher’s birthday never got easier. The sharp stab of pain that stole my breath and had me doubling over in agony had lessened in intensity over the time he’d been gone. But it was still there. It took me by surprise some days. I’d see a new Lego set that he would have loved or a new book or movie, and I’d look for him to tell him. ThenI’d remember the day he hadn’t come home and the memories would sucker punch me.
His loss lived inside me as a gaping hole. It was a void of heartache and despair that I would always carry with me.
Nothing could ever fill it.
Now I tried to focus on the happy memories rather than the loss. When I was down, I watched old videos of him giggling. I looked through albums of his baby photos and remembered the curve of his smile or the way his hair fell in his eyes when it got too long. I re-read his favourite books and finished the Lego set he’d been working on when he died. I went fishing in his favourite place with his best friend, and when I wanted to talk to him, I took my tinny to the spot where we’d spread his ashes.
We were honouring Ash today, celebrating his short life. He’d been gone for as long as he’d lived, but we all still felt his presence. Asher was larger than life, and he’d left us with memories that we cherished.
Thanks to Tristan, his story would now be told.Tarnished Crown,Tristan’s podcast, was launching today. Two seasons of ten episodes each were pre-recorded and ready to go.
Tristan pulled at the collar of the Hawaiian shirt all us guys were wearing or at least had been when I’d arrived. Two were tossed haphazardly on deck chairs with towels and another was hooked on the gate of the pool fence. Only Tristan and I were still wearing them. They were uncomfortable and hot, but seeing my daughter’s smile when all her favourite people were wearing the shirts was worth it all.
The shirts were gaudy, the colours clashing and bright. Except for Tristan’s. Somehow, he’d managed to get a black-and-grey one. I raised my chin, gesturing to Tristan as he tugged on the collar again, but I spoke to Ezra. “You’re going to find some extra kindling in the firepit tonight.”
Tristan actually pouted. My best mate laughed and knocked his boyfriend in the shoulder. “Ry won’t let him burn it. He’s always lecturing us about reducing waste.”
“I hear they do wonders with soft plastics recycling these days,” I teased.
Tristan huffed but was biting back a smile, and Ezra grinned shamelessly. They looked up as one, and their smiles grew, turning soft. I knew that smile—Zali put it on their faces. I drained the rest of my beer, the crisp lager cold and refreshing as it went down. I sucked in a breath and closed my eyes, thanking the universe for giving me this moment with them while simultaneously mourning that Ash wasn’t here to see it. He would have loved these guys.
“I wonder where Cara is,” Zali asked.
I was looking forward to meeting Zali’s best friend. I’d heard a lot about her from Zali as well as Tristan and Flynn, but even though they’d known each other for going on eighteen months, we still hadn’t been introduced.
“Right here,” a woman said with a sigh. Just the sound of her voice had tingles running up and down my spine. It was melodious and sweet—gentle, too, but flustered and sad at the same time.
I spun, curious what she looked like. What I saw blew my mind. The young woman had curves for miles. Her legs were thick and her hips wide. Her belly was softly rounded, and her breasts were full and luscious. The floral dress she wore was cinched in under her bust, and it hid none of those delicious curves as it fluttered in the ocean breeze.
I walked toward her, trying to get closer without conscious thought.
But my legs were jelly, and my hands shook. Awareness cascaded through me, and desire curled low in my belly.
That kind of visceral reaction to a person was almost a foreign concept to me now. It had been so long since I’d wanted anyone—my world being upended and so devastatingly shattered had flicked off the switch. It had been coming back in slow increments during the last year or two. I’d noticed a smile here, or the curve of a breast there. Even the protective way Zali’s guys held each other caught my attention. Not even with my wife had I experienced this kind of instant reaction.
This all-encompassing and overwhelming need was baffling.
Bloody hell, I’d never seen a woman as beautiful as her.
She was utterly breathtaking.
I watched her join Zali, and I knew without Zali pre-empting her arrival a moment ago who she was—Cara. My daughter’s newest friend. The sweetheart who’d been kind and gentle with her when she was at her most vulnerable.
I knew Cara was perpetually cheerful and that she was genuine and never had an ulterior motive. She always wanted what was best for Zali.
Cara had sounded wonderful, and I’d heard how beautiful she was. But every description of her had been lacking, including my own. She was… enchanting.
The magic she was weaving held me spellbound.
“Hi. Sorry I’m late,” Cara apologized, her voice wavering. She tilted her rosy lips up in the briefest of smiles aimed squarely at Zali, but it quickly slipped away. Her eyes were red and her cheeks blotchy, and she looked so haunted that my heart broke for her. Zali wrapped her arms around her friend and held tight, not letting Cara go for the longest time.
There was something wrong.
Who had hurt her? Who had stripped that beautiful smile from her?
Anger pulsed within me, a protective streak crackling through me like lightning. I tightened my fingers around my empty bottleand fought off the desire to tear apart the world to find the person who’d upset her.
