“You know? I actually just got a call and need to head out. Can I take a rain check?”
“Of course, honey. You go do what needs to be done. You’re such a good girl. Give your parents my love, okay?”
“Okay,” I choke out, still doing everything I can to keep the smile on my face and tears out of my eyes while Ursula guides her down the hallway and to her bedroom.
I grab my purse and head out front, walking right past the Hunt Family Ranch truck parked in front of my car. As I climb inside, I close my eyes and bow my head. “Lord, please grant me the strength. Please take this pain. I don’t know how I can keep carrying it. I feel crazy. Please, God. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.”
After wiping the tears that I couldn’t quite blink away, I pull away from the curb in front of Charlene’s house and head back toward mine. Back to my carefully crafted world where everything makes sense and I’ve hidden away all traces of Dylan Hunt.
Chapter 3
Dylan
The heavy bag swings, the chain creaking as I drive my fist into the side of it.
Again.
Again.
Every muscle in my body is warmed up, my skin slick with sweat, but I’m nowhere near tired, despite being out here for nearly four hours. It’s not unusual though. Sleep eludes me more often than not.
I step back, then spin and kick, slamming my foot into the bag and sending it swinging wildly. The ache in my chest isn’t unfamiliar either. Honestly, I’d be worried if I woke up one day and it was gone, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to deal with. And ever since I saw Emma standing in the sunlight on Charlene’s porch, her pretty dress flowing softly in the early fall breeze, it’s felt like there’s an anvil on my chest.
If only it would crush me already and get it over with. This slow, torturous pain is killing me anyway.
“I thought I saw a light on.” Tucker, my twin brother, steps through the open door of the gym. His dog, Tango, rushes to greet my dog, Delta, and the two of them almost immediately start wrestling.
“Wanted a quick workout in before bed.”
“Didn’t you work out earlier today too?” Tucker questions, leaning back against the refrigerator holding all of our cold pre- and post-workout drinks.
“Yeah. So?”
“So, is everything okay?”
“It’s fine.” I slam my fist into the bag, wishing this conversation was already over. But Tucker being Tucker, he only pries more.
“You haven’t been coming around as often, so I want to make sure you’re good.”
“You just got married a few months ago,” I remind him. “So no, I haven’t been around a whole lot. Seems to me you’d want some time to be alone with your wife.” I undo the cap of my water, not bothering to remove the wraps from my hands because I’m nowhere near numb enough for sleep yet.
“Fair enough, but you know we like having you around.” He crosses his arms.
I hate that he still feels like he has to take care of me.
And I hate it even more that I really do miss my brothers. All of them. Even if I am happy for all of them and the families they’re starting, love just isn’t in the cards for me. Not now. Not ever again. Which means this is the new normal, and I’d better start getting used to it.
They’ll be starting families and living their happily ever afters while I grow old alone, waiting for the day I no longer have to live with the cement of my past caked around my ankles.
I set my water down and turn toward him. “Look, I did some work over at Ma Thomas’ place earlier, and now I’m trying to get one final workout in today since I have to be up early to stain her new porch railing and likely won’t get one in tomorrow morning, okay?”
Tucker doesn’t look at all like he believes me. “You saw Emma over there, didn’t you?”
I drop my head into my hands and let out a frustrated breath. “She’s an off-limits topic, and you know that.”
“Do I?” Tucker crosses his arms. “Did she say something that upset you?”
“Emma?” I ask. “Of course not. She never says anything mean to anyone ever.” She’s pure light. Always has been. Which is why I can’t be anywhere close to her. The darkness in me will devour her light.
