“Riley. What can I get for you?” Talia asks, her friendly smile always warm and inviting.
“A burger and fries for me, a club sandwich with extra crispy bacon and a bag of potato chips for my dad, and another burger with no mayo and a side of onion rings, to-go, please.” He doesn’t add in who the last burger is for, and he doesn’t have to. I know that Dylan prefers onion rings to fries, and he hates mayonnaise. The Independence Day parade picnic cemented that when the potato salad got left out too long and he got sick to his stomach.
“You got it.” After making a note on her pad, she heads back into the kitchen.
“How are things going out at the ranch?” I ask, hoping he doesn’t know what I’m really asking. How’s Dylan? Has he decided he misses me as much as I miss him yet?
“Not too bad. Dad’s truck is on the fritz, and since Elliot is out of town for a mission, I’m on mechanic duty until he gets back.”
“I’m assuming Dylan is helping?” When he doesn’t answer right away, I dramatically roll my eyes. “His name isn’t a bad word, Riley. Since I happen to know he’s the only one of you who can’t stomach mayonnaise, I know he’s helping you.”
Riley shrugs. “Sorry, not sure where you stand.”
“Nowhere,” I reply. “We don’t stand anywhere, and that’s just fine by me.”
He gives me a side-eye, not sure he believes my words. “Yeah, he’s helping. If by helping, you mean humming every time he thinks I’m doing something wrong.”
Humming. Dylan has an excellent voice. One of the best out of all the brothers. There was a time when we thought he was going to go into music. Then he’d chosen the military, and everything went sideways.
“Well, he does like to make you crazy.”
“Yeah. We get blips where he’s himself, and even as annoyed as I used to get, I’m just glad to see a bit of his old self shine through.”
My heart aches. What I’d give to see that side of him again too. “Good. I’m glad to hear it.”
Because I genuinely can’t discuss Dylan anymore without completely losing it, I go back to reading, or at least pretending to read, and a few seconds later, Riley opens his book too.
Even as Lani and I have been friends for forever, and books are something Riley and I bonded over a long time ago, my real connection to the family lies with Dylan—the youngest of the brothers.
A man I’ve loved for as long as I can remember.
Pain blossoms in my heart, grief that just won’t go away, no matter how many years pass. No matter how many times he treats me like I mean nothing, I can’t let go of what we were.
I suppose that’s my burden to carry.
I pray constantly for God to take it away…to remove my feelings for Dylan, but so far, that particular prayer has not been answered. Someday, maybe, but not today.
“Here you go.” Talia slides the chicken salad in front of me, so I close my book and set it aside.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Shout if you need anything else.”
“Will do.” I bow my head. “Lord, I ask that you bless this food. Let it nourish my body. Thank You for the wondrous blessings you bestow upon me. I pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.”
“Amen,” Riley says beside me.
I pour the dressing over the top of my salad and mix it in, then take my first bite. It’s the first time I’ve eaten today since my breakfast consisted of a protein shake after my run, then a mad dash out the front door so I wouldn’t be late to the Saturday staff meeting at the school where I teach kindergarten.
“Any big plans today?” Riley asks.
I finish chewing and swallowing my current bite. “Just preparations for the school’s fall festival. Then I’m headed over to Charlene’s place for a bit.”
“How is she doing?”
“Not great,” I reply sadly. Charlene Thomas lost her husband of nearly sixty years last month. She’s been struggling with depression, on top of the Alzheimer’s that’s been slowly pulling her further and further away from us. Most of the time, she forgets to do basic tasks, so even though she has a full-time nurse, I still head over at least once a day to sit with her and help wherever I can.
“I’m so sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do?”
