But everything just got worse with that distance between us.
I was so confused, trying and failing to dig through my thoughts and feelings so I could pull them out, one by one, and face them. I thought if I could name them, I could put them behind me just the same.
Joke was on me.
Any time I did see Aleks for a planned publicity stunt, I felt that irrational anger inside me bubble up again. It was infuriating that I couldn’t dust off the whole ordeal. So what, he’d said some lovey-dovey stuff on a boat at sunset. So what, Ihad more feelings for him than I admitted to Isabella or anyone else.
It was a show, a game, a part of a bigger plan.
And I was a professional.
I needed to get my shit together and stop being such a little crybaby about it all.
The truth was that I wasn’t mad at Aleks. I was mad at myself. I knew what I was getting myself into, and yet I had the gall to be upset when my feelings got tangled up in all the pretending. It didn’t matter that he made it feel real sometimes… that was his role to play.
And how was he supposed to know that, deep down, I wanted to believe what he said.
It was me who had broken my own damn heart.
I tried to move on. I tried to shake it all off. But just when I’d think I was on the up and up, when I’d be focused on the album and the tour, Aleks would show up or I’d fly out to see him.
And I’d realize that no matter how I iced him out, he was always going to find his way inside my heart.
I repeated the steps of my plan the whole flight here, finding comfort in the fact that I was in control, that this was just one more thing to get through before I could kick off this tour that I’d thrown my all into. I couldn’t wait to see my fans, to dance and sing with them, to finally feel this album come to life.
I just had to survive the next twenty-four hours first.
“Surprise!”
I startled at the chorus of voices that shouted that word at me, nearly fumbling my phone as I hit the tarmac. When I realized who the voices belonged to, I blinked, unsure of how to react. Fortunately, I’d faked enough shit in my life up to this point that a smile slid into place easily, and I peeled off my sunglasses with a delight that almost felt real.
“What in the world are you gorgeous ladies doing here?”
Standing in front of a pearl white SUV with very tinted windows was Maven Tanev, Livia Young, Grace Tanev, and Chloe Knott.
AKA — the wives and girlfriends of Aleks’s friends.
Er, maybefriendswas a strong word. Teammates was probably the more accurate one. And technically, Livia was their team dentist and no one’s girlfriend. In fact, I was pretty sure Isabella tried to make herhergirlfriend a couple times, only to be broken hearted that Livia didn’t seriously dateanyone.
But she was Maven’s best friend and they seemed attached at the hip. Also, I was pretty sure Carter Fabri had a massive crush on her — whether she saw it or not.
They looked like the final curtain call of a high-end fashion show, all of them dolled up in dresses or curve-hugging suits with heels strapped to their feet. While Maven and Livia sported theirs with confidence, Grace and Chloe looked a little more out of their element, like they’d been wrangled into dressing up by the other two. Still, they were all absolutely stunning.
I had no idea why the hell they were here.
I’d first met them at my album release party. Since then, we’d hung out only a couple times — once at the fake engagement party that Aleks and I had thrown, and once during a planned photo opportunity with the team before preseason kicked off.
These girls were impossible not to like, from Maven and Livia’s quick wit and sass to Grace’s free spirit and Chloe’s genuine sweetness.
But I still didn’t know why they were greeting me on this tarmac when I had planned to spend the day very much alone.
I squeezed my phone in my hand, suspecting Isabella had a hand in it.
She hated how much I’d been in my head lately. I would not have put it past her to set something like this up.
“Okay, hopefully you won’t be mad, and hopefully you didn’t have any big plans,” Grace started, being the first to make her way to where I was frozen at the bottom of the stairs. She grasped my hand in hers and squeezed, bouncing a little like an excited child would. “But… well, we just really wanted to get to know you better.”
“And we asked Aleks to help us surprise you,” Chloe chimed in from behind. “Aleks and Isabella,” she added, confirming my suspicions.
