Watching her walk away from me is delightful; watching her return is even better. She trots back to me from the bathroom, which does truly awe-inspiring things to her tits, and then crawls in bed as fast as possible, wriggling back into my arms and burrowing against my chest with a happy little sigh.
This makes me laugh out of pure joy and unadulterated affection. "I didn't know you could be so damned adorable."
She rolls one shoulder. "Me either." She lifts her chin and looks at me. "I'm adorable?"
"Mmm," I hum. "Very. Especially when you do that."
"Do what?"
"That little wriggle and sigh."
I can almost feel her blushing. "Ren, stop."
"No! I love it."
"I'm a badass warrior queen, Lorenzo. I amnotadorable."
I give her ass cheek a squeeze, a smack, and a jiggle. "You can be both."
"Do you have to do that?" she grumbles.
"Do what?"
"Make my ass jiggle like that."
I laugh and give it another hearty smack that sets it to quivering. "Yes, I do. I happen to be obsessed with your ass, and making it jiggle like that is one of life's small joys that make it worth living."
She snorts at this. "Ridiculous." A quirked eyebrow. "I thought you were obsessed with my boobs?"
"Those too, equally. But they're pressed against me in a way I'm rather fond of, so an ass jiggling is what you get."
"Ren," she scolds. "You're making me embarrassed."
"About what? Having a killer fucking body that I'm absolutely, insanely in love with?"
This keeps her quiet for a moment. "I'm just not used to…" a small shrug follows her trailed-off statement. "I don't know."
"Being loved," I fill in. "Being shown affection. Being adored. Being treated with respect."
"Yes," she whispers, her voice tiny. "That."
"I promise you, Soph, I will spend every waking moment for the rest of my life showing you those things."
Another long silence—this one is thoughtful on her part. "Ren?"
"Yes, my love?"
"What if I can't ever have kids? What if I don't ever want to? What if I can't give you the life you've dreamed of?"
"How do you know what life I've dreamed of, Soph?" I ask, gently scolding. "I'm a career soldier, my love. I've never considered…domesticity. I don't know if that life is what I want, either. Maybe I just want to enjoy a few years of peace, you know? Figuring out how to live a life where I'm not being shot at or chased."
"Don't just…" she sniffles. "Don't just say things, Ren. Not if you don't mean them."
I roll her to her back and lever over her on an elbow. Cup her face. Brush a tendril of hair away. "Sophia Bruna Santos deSilva. I love you. I spent so many years without you, dreaming of you, missing you, needing you, not knowing if you were dead or alive, if you were suffering, if you.." my throat closes and I have to pause to breathe, to let the heat dispute, the tightness relent. "All I care about—the only thing—is having you in my life, in whatever form that is, however it looks. I love you with all that I fucking am, Sophia. I'll never tell you something just because it sounds good or I think it's what you want."
"Ren, I—"
I gaze down at her, holding her gaze. "Hold on. Just listen, please.”
