He just nods. “Yup. Now that I’ve got you, I’m not letting you go. You’re stuck with me, mama.”
Kelly laughs. “Send me an address, and I’ll talk to Luis. We’ll find some time to come out and see you. We’ll send the boys to go be macho Marines together, and you and I can go tear up Vegas together.”
I nod, yet again feeling emotional, this time at having to leave. “You got it. It’ll be fun.” I work to my feet, and Kelly and I hug for a long, long time. Eventually, I pull away. “Thank you, Kel. After how I treated you, I don’t deserve your forgiveness, and I’ll be eternally grateful that you gave it.”
“That’s the thing about forgiveness, honey—we never deserve it. We don’t forgive for the other person, we forgive for ourselves. And in your case, I love you.” She cups my face. “Down to my bones, bitch. No take backs. So, yeah.”
“Down to my bones, bitch,” I echo—how we used to say we loved each other, back in the day.
She pulls back, blinking hard. “Okay. Go. I gotta shower and hit the library.” She hugs me again, takes my mug from me, and then gently pushes me backward. I turn away and she smacks my ass, hard, the way she used to.
I laugh, giving her the finger. “I didnotmiss that. Your ass-slaps still sting like a motherfucker.” I look at Chance. “Your shirt and shoes still in the house?”
He shakes his head. “Nah. In the car. I figured we’d say our goodbyes after she got back from her run.”
Kelly pulls a face. “I don’t mean to send you packing, it’s just I’ll be working till late, and then we have plans for tomorrow we can’t cancel.”
I shake my head. “It was a surprise visit. I’m just so glad I got to see you at all.” I pull my phone from my back pocket. “Text me, yeah?”
Kelly takes Chance’s mug as well, looping them over her index finger. “Will do. Love you, babe.”
I don’t look back, just wave without looking. “If I say anything else, I’ll start bawling again, so I’m gonna let you have the last word.”
Kelly just laughs, and I climb into the passenger seat. Chance slings in beside me a moment later, starting the engine.
“You ready?” he asks.
My eyes burn. “Nope. Let’s go.”
He says nothing, just drives away.
* * *
We endup getting breakfast at a little cafe in Old Town. We don’t talk much—it becomes apparent Chance has something gnawing at him. I decide to let him bring it to me when he’s ready. After breakfast, we walk around Old Town for a bit, and eventually end up at the end of a pier. Chance plops down to his butt, and holds a hand up to me—I hesitate, but then figure fuck it, and grip his hand and let him help me, let him support my weight as I shove my bad leg out and lower myself to my butt beside him. Silence curls around us, settles between us. Behind, cars rush, people chatter, skateboards growl across the sidewalk, seagulls caw, waves crash. It’s not awkward, it’s just…silence.
After almost five minutes of Chance staring out at the ocean, one foot idly kicking over the edge of the pier, he looks at me. “Not many people could sit in silence for that long.”
I shrug. “Feels like you needed it. You’ve given me so much already, Chance. I can give you some quiet to think.”
“You gonna ask?”
I shake my head. “You’ll tell me when you’re ready, or not. I’m not gonna push.”
He snorts. “Well that’s fuckin’ dumb.”
I twist away, startled by his unexpected response. “What the hell does that mean?”
“It means, I appreciate you givin’ me space and time to think about the shit in my stupid fuckin’ head. But, at this point between us, I kinda expect you to push me a little. I’m used to keepin’ shit to myself. I’m closer to Rev than I can even put into words, but our relationship ain’t like that. We’re dudes, for one thing, and dudes don’t tend to share this kinda shit very easily. Honest truth is, Annika, you’re gonna have to pull things out of me. It’s hard for me to open up. I can get you to open up and trust me and all that, but hypocritically enough, I ain’t so good at doing the same in return.”
“So you’re saying you want me to…I dunno…force you to open up to me?”
He nods. “More or less.”
I take his hand in mine, palm to palm, and tangle our fingers together. “All right then. Out with it, buster. What’s eating you?”
“Forgiveness.”
When he doesn’t immediately elaborate, I roll my free hand in a circle. “What about forgiveness?”
