He brushes my cheek with his knuckles. “Well, you feel like a miracle to me.”
I trace patterns on his face with my fingertips—tugging his lower lip down, running my finger over his mustache, down his nose, along the shell of his ear. “Thank you, Kane, for giving me such a wonderful experience. Every girl should be so lucky as me.”
He shakes his head, kisses me softly, and then more deeply. “You’rethankingme? Woman, you gave me your virginity. It absolutely ain’t lost on me what a precious gift that is.”
He rolls again, and now I’m cradled in his arms. I look at the flowers, a profusion of color surrounding us in every direction. The horses stamp and snort not far away. Above, the azure sky is an endless bowl.
“I have never been so happy,” I say.
His only response is to kiss my temple.
We drift in silence.
12A Sense of Rightness
Kane
I’m not sure how long we doze. The air is warm but not hot, with an occasional gust of breeze. She’s soft in my arms, her slender body naked, thigh draped over mine, breasts against my ribs, a hand low on my belly, cheek to my shoulder. Her breath snorts across my heart.
“Kane?” Her voice is the quiet strain of a bow drawn gently across a violin’s string.
“Mmm?” I grunt.
“How is it, to be in love?”
I blink. “How is it?”
“How does it feel? How do you know?”
“Shit, honey, I dunno.”
“But, you were in love once, were you not?” She’s quiet a moment. “I am sorry. I should not have brought up a painful subject at such a wonderful time.”
“It’s okay, honey.” I scratch her back from shoulders as far down as I can reach, to her pert little ass. “I mean, when I was in love, or when I thought I was, at least, I was a kid. It just sort of naturally developed with her, so there wasn’t one moment where I was like, ‘aha, I’m in love.’”
“But you felt yourself to be in love, yes?”
I nod. “I told her I loved her, and she said it to me. We talked about our future, marriage, kids, stuff like that. Mainly we were just kids on the edge of adulthood exploring…life, I guess.” I consider. “I thought about her all the time. I wanted to spend all my time with her. I’d do anything for her.”
She’s quiet. “I see.”
“But, looking back, I think a lot of it was just…young love. No less real or important at the time, but it was hormones. Infatuation. She was also the only girl my age I knew, very literally. Plus, just objectively, she was beautiful, and I was the only boy her age, and I may not win any beauty pageants, but I figure I ain’t been hit with the ugly sticktoomany times. So it was sort of inevitable we’d get together.”
“So, are you saying it was not love?”
“No, not necessarily sayin’ it wasn’t. I think I did love Della-Marie.” It’s weird how much easier it is to think about her, to even say her name, now. “I know I did. But it’s not the same.”
“What is not the same, please?” She looks up at me.
“This.” I tuck her wild, just-fucked hair behind her ear. “Us.”
She pulls in a breath. “Kane, I…” A look away from me, to the flowers and the sky. “Is that what this is, between us?”
“I think it is. Do you?” I feel my heart pounding. It’s scary to go there. Especiallyhere, in this place.
She nods, her cheek moving against my shoulder. “I have never been in love, which is the reason I asked.”
“That scare you?”
