“What’d you say to her?” I ask.
“Oh, I thanked her for letting me enjoy the day with her.” She looks up at me as we follow Luke and Lilly back up to the house. “Thank you, too, for showing me this part of yourself, Kane.”
I shake my head. I’m sick to shit of being choked up, but I’m working through a lot of intense emotions, and I know better than to fight them. “I’m the one to thankyou, Anj. You gave this tome. You gave it back. I…I never thought I’d be here again, with Luke. Never thought I’d sit on a horse again.” I curl my arm around her waist. “You worked a miracle, you know that?”
She smiles up at me. “Do I have all of you, now, Kane?”
I stop, tug her to my front. Again her chin rests on my breastbone, eyes lifting to mine with such beautiful warmth, such tender affection that I choke up all over again. “All of me and more, Anj. Long as I live, I could never repay you for bringing me back here.”
“There is no repay,” she murmurs, reaching up to tug on the brim of my hat. “I would not mind if we were to kiss, however.” Her lips curve, eyes sparking with heat. “Kiss, and not stop. Ever, or ever. Do you know what I mean?”
“I think I might have an idea, honey.” I palm her ass, squeeze, feeling her suck in a breath. “I know my reaction when you told me what you wanted was…extreme, Anjalee. Way extreme. I just…I want you to know I’m sorry. I hope you understand where I was coming from, and that you can forgive me.”
She touches my face, tracing the furrows of my brow, smoothing them away. “Of course I forgive you—of course I do. I knew your pain was very great. And I hope you understand that I only did what I did for you. I want you to feel less pain, not more.”
“I think what Lilly said this morning was truer than I realized—healing hurts a little.”
“And now you are healing?”
I nod. “It ain’t all gonna happen at once, right away, but…yeah. Coming here, seeing Luke. Getting his forgiveness. Seeing him happy with Lilly. Riding again.” I swallow hard. “Seeing Della-Marie’s grave and talking to her. Yeah, honey. I’m healing. I’m forgiving myself, finally.”
She closes her eyes as if in immense relief. “Good. I am glad. Very glad.” Her eyes open, and now they’re deep and wild and heated. “I wish to make love with you, Kane. Soon. Please?”
I kiss her, soft and deep and wet. “Yeah, honey. Nothin’ I want more. Nothing.”
She smiles. Kisses me, then, lifting up, nose sliding along mine, soft lips opening as they brush mine. Her breath is gentle and her tongue sweet on mine. Her kiss heals. Fills me. Warms me.
Making love to this woman? God, it might just be so incredible it’ll kill me.
That’s a risk I’m willing to take.
11A Gift Is Given
Anjalee
We are riding the horses again, together. This time, it is just Kane and me. We go a different direction, away from the mountains and the hills, following the fence line parallel to the gravel road for some miles before he angles us away, deeper into the fields. A herd of horses follows us, running beside us, manes trailing behind, heads tossing as if they are silently laughing, enjoying some game we are playing. The field rolls downward, and the grass now becomes a colorful explosion of wildflowers in every shade and hue under the sun. Nothing but wildflowers, as far I can see in every direction, wildflowers and horses, and the blue sky only sometimes dotted with small puffs of white cloud, with the craggy, white-capped mountains ever behind us.
Kane brings his horse to a stop, and I do as well. He climbs down, takes my reins and his. There is a blanket rolled up behind his saddle, which he spreads on the ground, tramping down a section of flowers. The horses he leaves saddled, and they move a little ways away, nosing at the grass under the flowers.
I sit on the blanket, heart pounding. Kane sits beside me, kicking off his boots and tossing his white cowboy hat to the corner of the blanket. When I reach for the hem of my shirt to take it off, he stops me, his large, rough, strong hand gentle on my wrist.
“Easy there, tiger.” He grins at me, and now that the shadows are gone from his eyes, his already-stunning smile leaves me truly breathless; the beauty is in his eyes, the clarity in them, the wildness, the openness. “Just relax, honey. Ain’t gonna just jump right into it.”
I roll a shoulder. “I do not know how such things work, Kane. I am eager, yes, but also somewhat nervous.” I lick my lips, look away. “Maybe…I am even a little bit afraid.”
He kicks his legs out, leaning on an elbow. “I’vegotyou, Anj. It’s okay to be nervous, and it’s okay to be a little scared, too. But I promise you, honey, I’ll make it good for you. And if you say the word, we stop. Instantly. Yeah?” He takes my hand and pulls me down—I move to my back beside him, and he angles over me. “Not gonna do anything you don’t want, Anj. Not now, not ever.”
“I want to. I think perhaps, I want to so badly I am twisting myself into knots of anxiousness.”
“Understandable.” He leans closer, his eyes greener now, to match the grass and the stems of the flowers. “Why don’t we just start it off with a little kiss?”
My breath catches. “Only a little one?”
His lips curve against mine. “Or a big one. Whatever you want, sweetheart.”
I bury my fingers in his hair, tangle them, tug him down to me, my eyes closing. His mouth closes onto mine, and I taste his tongue, feel it moving in my mouth. Heat burrows into my core, turning immediately to wetness dripping through me, down between my thighs. I forget to be afraid, then, forget to be anxious or anything—there is only Kane, and his kissing of me.
I am the one to deepen it, now. I lift up, pull him down. Run my hands under his shirt, touching his skin, his back, his muscle. More, I touch him, up to his shoulders, and then our mouths break for only a moment as his shirt vanishes. I have his skin all for me, and I touch him everywhere my hands reach, and I continue kissing him.
