She’s the worst. “Mike, honey.Vegas?”
I’m at home—I still haven’t gotten a new place. I’m looking, but they’re all expensive, and honestly part of me is still hesitant to actually put down roots here. “Ana, I know. I get it. But I like it here.”
She’s quiet—which isn’t good. “There’s a boy.”
“Ana.”
“There is!” she crows. “I knew it! Bad plan, honey. You just got out of an ugly divorce.”
“Ana, I’m not discussing this with you.”
“Tell me there’s not a boy.”
“There’s not a boy.” Not a lie—Rev is all man.
“Mike. You can’t lie to me.”
“He’s not a boy.”
She huffs. “Semantics. There’s aman.”
“It’s just…a thing. Okay? Don’t worry about it.”
“Of course I’m going to worry about it.” Another sharp pause. “You haven’t compromised your morals, have you?”
I knew this was coming. “None of your business, Ana.”
“You’re my baby sister. It’s my job to look out for you.”
“No, it’s not. I’m a grown woman. My morals are my business.”
“Your morals areGod’sbusiness, hon. You can’t run away from Him.”
I can’t take it anymore. “I don’t know what I believe anymore, Ana. I did things therightway. I saved myself for marriage. I courted a good Christian man. I married him. I was faithful to him. I was a good wife to him. And you know where it got me, Ana? It got mefucked over. That’s where it got me.”
She lets out a sharp hiss of shock. “Myka Abigail Donovan!”
“Youknowwhat I went through, Anastasia. You were there for all of it. How he treated me, what it did to me. So you know what? I’m not going to apologize for my language. And this guy? He’s totally different. He makes me feel…alive. Safe. Even though he scares the poop out of me in ways I’m not even going to attempt to explain to you, I feel safe around him. I feelwanted, Ana. So I’m going after that. And if thatcompromisesmy morals? So be it. Let them be compromised. They didn’t do crap for me in the first place. I followed them and I got destroyed because of them. I’m not doing it that way again. I’m doing itmyway, this time.”
“You don’t mean any of that,” Ana whispers.
“I mean it more than I’ve ever meant anything.” I pause, realizing something even as I hear myself say it. “I may never come back, Ana. Not for good.”
She sniffles. “Myka, don’t say that.”
“I’m going to live my life, Ana. I love you. I’ll come see you guys. But…the longer I’m away, the more I realize how dang miserable I was. So I’m not going back to that. I’m trying something new. You guys don’t have to like it, you don’t have to agree. But I’m living my life my way, and I refuse to apologize for it.”
“You’d break Daddy’s heart, he heard you talkin’ like this.”
“Don’t play that card on me, Ana. Seriously. Daddy loves me. He may not agree with my choices, but he doesn’t have to. He just has to trust that he raised me right, and that I’ll see my way through this.”
“Back to God, and what you know is right?”
“I told you. I may not believe the way you want me to, not anymore. What I think is right for me may not agree with what all ya’ll think is right.” I huff, hearing the North Carolina twang coming out.
“Mike.”
“Ana, I got to go. I have to get ready for work.”
