"He’s definitely attractive…if you go for the mountain of a man type. Not especially my type, but I see the attraction." She arches her brows. “So? What's the issue?"
"We kissed, and…well, it was freakingamazing. So,sogood. But we'd just met. I barely knew him. I…I mean, you know how slow Brennan and I took things. And I guess I felt like part of mewas jumping in head first too soon. And I felt like I was doing it out of…I dunno. Not spite, but…" I shake my head, frustrated. "See? I’m so mixed up I don't even know how to talk about it."
"Brennan was an asshole who didn't deserve a single minute of your time, let alone the years you gave him. So spite is a perfectly reasonable explanation."
"But not a good reason to start a relationship," I point out.
"Order up for Raina and Noelle," Layla calls. I go up and get my pesto chicken sandwich (organic, farm-raised, free-range, local chicken) and a side of sweet potato tots, along with Raina's green goddess salad. "Thanks, Layla."
She smiles at me, her shoulder-length black hair pulled through the back of a ballcap with their logo on it, her brown eyes bright and friendly. "Of course, Noelle. Good to see you. How's your family?"
"Oh, you know, good."
"Brothers staying out of trouble?" she asks, smirking.
I laugh. "Mostly? I think? They're all over the place."
She glances at me as she works on an order. "What's their latest venture?"
"Honestly, I have no idea. I stopped trying to keep track years ago.” I gesture at the cafe. "Things are pretty busy, huh?"
She rolls her eyes. "God, yes. We're thinking about hiring someone to open for us."
"Good, you should! You two have been working open to close every day since you opened, and that was, what, last year?"
“Over a year ago now, yeah. It's been a big push, but everyone has been so welcoming and receptive. It’s been great. We’ve had a lot of support on social media." The printer spits out another ticket, and she snags it and scans it. “I’ll let you get back to lunch. Good to see you, Noelle."
"You too, Layla. Thanks for the sandwich. It looks amazing!"
I take our food back to the table and we spend a few minutes eating.
After a bit, Raina eyes me as she stabs cucumbers and avocado slices. "So, what’s the issue?"
"I don't know how or when or if to progress things. We've been spending a lot of time together, dating, sort of. We go on walks, take Panzer to the park, and go for hikes. I’ve been trying to introduce him to different restaurants. It's been great. The more I get to know him, the more I like him."
"But?" She spears a green pepper and pieces of lettuce.
"I want more. I know he does, too. But I don't think he'll push it. He’s been very respectful of the boundaries I've set."
“A littletoorespectful, maybe, because you kinda want him to push?" She suggests.
I blush. “Yeah. But that's not fair.Itold him I wanted to get to know each other;Iset the boundaries. So I can’t then very well sit here expecting him to push against those boundaries. I just…how do you know when it's time for more?"
She grins. "Well, you're blushing. I think you're ready. Is he?"
I shrug, shaking my head. "I have no idea. He told me he hasn't been with anyone in a very long time. Since before prison."
Her eyes bug out. "He's been celibate forten years?"
I nod. “Yeah." I frown. “Actually, more like eleven, if not longer.”
"And he's patiently waiting for you to be ready for more?"
"Yeah."
She snorts. "Babe, you gotta throw the man a bone. Good grief. After that long, and with how shy he is, I wonder if he may not knowhowto push for more. How to tell you he's ready. That may not be in his toolbox, so to speak."
I consider this. "Wow, I…I hadn't thought about that. You're probably right."
