Well…
Me.
One step at a time.
I pull into my driveway. "C'mon, boys."
Panzer and Bear follow me up the driveway to the side door. I unlock it, and Bear holds the storm door open so I can go in. Panzer follows, and then Bear. My kitchen is small but cute. The cabinets are white, and some enterprising prior tenants with artistic talent hand-painted little flowers, bumblebees, and dragonflies on them in random patterns. The counters are blonde butcherblock, the floors are vintage hardwood stained a few shades darker than the cabinets, and the appliances are newer stainless steel. The first thing I do is get a big mixing bowl, fill it with water, and put it on the floor for Panzer, who slurps away noisily, making a godawful mess—easily cleaned.
Bear follows me into the open-plan dining room and living room. The walls here are a soft, muted moss color, the floors the same hardwood as the kitchen carried through the whole home. My couch is one of the few things I ever splurged on, a soft gray Lovesac sectional framing an antique cherrywood coffee table,with a print of Monet's Water Lilies where a TV would be in other homes.
"You have a beautiful home," Bear says.
"Thank you. I love it." I lift on my toes and kiss his cheek. "Have a seat and relax. I'm gonna rinse off and change. I won't be long."
"'Kay." He settles himself carefully on the couch, his huge frame tense and stiff.
I can't help but laugh, perching on his thighs. "Hey.Relax.” I reach up and try to massage his massive shoulders, but it's like kneading granite. "Geez. Talk about boulder shoulders."
He lets out a breath. "I'm just…mixed up, I guess. In my head."
"About what?" I ask.
He just shrugs, looks away.
I grab his beard braid and tug gently. "Hey. Talk to me."
Another vague shoulder roll. "Nothing."
"Bear." It comes out a little firm and scoldy. I soften my tone. "Whatever it is, I want to know."
"Just this whole thing. You and me."
“Yeah?"
He swallows hard. "I'm not sure what it is. Don't know what I’m doing. What to do. What not to do."
"You're doing fine, Mister Bear," I say, emphasizing the mister to make it a teasing joke.
He blesses me with an actual, very rare smile, and a soft huff of laughter. “Not that again."
"That again. You’re my Mister Bear."
"YourMister Bear?"
"Well, hopefully not someone else's," I say, pretending to scowl. "Is there something I should know? Someone else in the picture?"
"No," he says quickly. "No. Just you. Only you."
I break into laughter, wrapping my arms around his thick neck and cliff-like shoulders. "I'm teasing. Just teasing." I pull away just a little. “Yes, to answer your question.MyMister Bear.Mybig handsome Viking warrior."
He furrows his brow thoughtfully, sighing. "Never been anyone's before."
I can only smile at that. I kiss his cheek again, wanting more than anything for him to take my face in his big hard hands and kiss me breathless.
His eyes search my face. Land on my lips. His thumb brushes ever-so-gently over my mouth. "Pretty little mouth. Soft."
I touch his lips the way he did mine. "Yours too."
