“Ain’t nobody else like him, you know. I’m only twenty-two, but I been on the streets since I was thirteen. Met all kinds of men, turnin’ tricks. Some of ’em weren’t bad, just... lonely. Or too busy to bother with even trying to set up casual sex, I guess.Some were curious. A few virgins, here and there. But in all of ’em I ever met, there’s never been nobody like him. You must not understand what you’re running away from.”
“My situation is . . .” I have to hunt for an appropriate word. “ . . . unique.”
“Ain’t everybody’s?” Rachel eyes me.
“Well, I guess that’s true, but I’m different. I don’t mean to sound—”
“You’re different. You’re special. I get it. You’re Caleb’s big secret on the thirteenth floor. What you don’t get is what he’s done for me. For all of us here. I know what you think of us. I can feel you judging us.”
“I’m not judging—”
“The hell you ain’t!” She closes in, her eyes intelligent, proud, and piercing. “I was a meth head. Okay? You don’t—youcan’tunderstand that if you ain’t lived it. Alls I cared about was the next fix. I was gonnadie, and Caleb Indigo saved me. He got me off the street, gave me a place to live, fed me. He’s gotten me off drugs. Before, I was turnin’ tricks to afford the next high. No one gave a single shit about me, myself least of all. Now, here? I got a reason to live. I got a reason to stay off drugs. I’ve gotvalue, here. Yeah, I know I ain’t the only one, but Caleb spends time with me.Me, the whore, the drug addict. When he’s with me, I’m the only one that matters.” This last in a quiet voice that quavers with conviction. “He makes me feel like I could amount to something besides what I used to be. I can get put in the Bride pool, and who knows, maybe I’ll even get matched with someone who—who could love me.” Such hope, clung to with tenacity. “You run away from all that if you want.”
A long silence. I do not know what to say. I have too much in my head, in my heart.
“Garage is your only real shot, I’d say,” Rachel says. “Take the elevator down, make a run for it. Good luck to you. I won’t say nothing, but if Caleb asks, I’m telling the truth.”
“I wouldn’t ask you to lie for me.” I try a friendly smile. “Thank you, Rachel. And... congratulations on your—promotion, I suppose it is?”
She does a part nod, part shrug. “Thanks.”
I give her one last smile, one last glance. Then pull open her door, peek, step out. Close the door behind me, a sense of finality in the softclick. Stride away from the door marked3. Focus on the now, focus on reaching free air, reaching sunlight, reaching the outside.
Step onto the elevator, and my finger hovers over theG. But I hesitate. Why am I hesitating?
I need answers. That’s why. Who am I? Who am I to Caleb? What does anything mean?
The conviction in Rachel’s voice. Feeling like she was the only one that mattered when she was with Caleb... that sounds all too familiar.
Instead ofG, my thumb stabs theL, for the lobby.
Descent, my stomach twisting. The doors whoosh open. I step out.
Surprised faces. “Madame X!” Hands reach for me.
I stop them with a glare. “Keep your hands to yourself. Bring me to Caleb.” I feign authority.
Pretend I’m not a mess of nerves, shaking, furious, disoriented. Pretend as if everything I thought I knew hasn’t just been upended.
Len parts the crowd of onlookers and security guards. A familiar face, at least. “Madame X. Gave us quite a scare. Thought maybe you’d gotten lost.” Len’s face is impassive, giving away nothing.
“Take me to him, Len.”
“Why don’t we get you back to your room? Been quite a morning; I’m sure you’d like to rest.” A politely phrased command, that is.
“I don’t think so, Len. Take me to the penthouse.Now.” My eyes are narrowed, my voice hard and cold.
Len blinks twice, lets out a short breath. Lifts his wrist to his mouth. “I’ve got her, sir. She wants to see you... no, she wants me to take her up to the penthouse.... Yes, sir. Got it, sir.”
Len takes my upper arm, gestures to the elevator on the far right of the bank of doors.This elevator for authorized personnel only.A key opens the doors, the same key twisted to thePH. Ascent, my nerves ratcheting with each foot the elevator climbs. Len is stoic, silent.
I try to formulate thoughts, try to decipher my feelings.
Everything I thought I was going to say flees when the doors slide open at the penthouse level.
“Madame X. Please, come in.” Oh, that voice. Deep as canyons, rough as sandpaper.
Chapter 14
