And then my eyes are closed and his mouth is damp and hot and insistent against mine, and I’m kissing him and I’m up in the stars, and they’re wild and furious or maybe that’s my pulse—the blood in my very veins afire and scorching me from within.
“HO-kay!” I hear, in my dad’s voice, surprised.
I pull away, forcing myself to move slowly rather than abruptly as if guilty. “Hi, Dad.”
“This is all very sudden,” Dad says. “Not sure how comfortable I am with this.”
I don’t move my hands from Wes’s shoulders, and I realize his hands are around my waist, and now that I’m aware of them there my whole body tingles, but especially where his hands touch me.
I want to burst into inappropriate and slightly hysterical laughter, but I hold it back.
“Itisall very sudden.” I smile at Dad. “And I understand that it makes you uncomfortable to see me kissing someone.”
Wes takes my suitcase. “I’ll just go bring this outside.”
“Thanks,” I murmur to him.
When he’s outside, and I’m alone with Dad.
“I’m still your little girl, Dad,” I say, sitting on the stair I’ve been standing on. “I’m just…not a little girl anymore.”
“I know. You’ve never been away from us, ever. You’ve never had a boyfriend. And now, just like that, you’re—” He breaks off, swallowing hard. “I’m sorry, I’m just having trouble with it.”
“Would it help if you looked at this as me ticking off the last few things on my bucket list?” I say, reaching out to touch his arm.
He shakes his head. “No, not really. But I’ll adjust.”
“So.” I move past him, into the living room, gathering my cell phone and charger cord and block and put them into my purse. “Any advice?”
“Yeah,” he says immediately, “Don’t marry someone you just met.”
“Funny, Dad, very funny.” I eye him. “Seriously.”
He leans against the back of the couch, watching me go through the contents of my purse one more time, making sure I’ve got everything I need. “Expensive gifts don’t equate to love. Neither does…er, the physical stuff. Sex and all that.” His face reddens but he doesn’t slow down. “That can be an expression of emotions, but…love is an action—a consistent choice. It’s putting the other person first. Considering them before yourself. So…I don’t know if that’s where things are with you two, but I guess what I’m saying is don’t be fooled by pretty words and glittery things.” He pauses. “Nothing is expected of you, Jolene. Physically, I mean. In any sense, but especially that. Don’t do anything you’re not a hundred percent comfortable with. No matter what. Okay?”
“I know, and I won’t.” I put everything back into my purse. Face Dad. “It’s a few days in LA with Wes. I’m not—” I stop myself abruptly, because I was about to sayI’m not leaving forever, which would have been in poor taste at best. I start over. “I’m not moving.”
Probably not? I don’t know. All I know is I’m living in the moment.
The moment is all any of us ever have, right? No one is guaranteed more than this very instant. But for me, the moment really is all I have.
And like heck am I gonna miss out on this opportunity with Wes.
“I just worry about you, babycakes,” he says.
“I know. And I’m not going to tell you not to.” I hug him. “I love you. I’ll call you a lot. I’ll be fine.”
Mom comes down, then. Her eyes are red, but dry. She hugs me. “I wish I could tell you I was okay with this, Jo-Jo. But I’m just not.” She clutches me to herself and clings hard. “You really feel like you have to go?”
I nod against her shoulder. “Yes. I feel very strongly that this is something I need to do.” I hold her away and make sure both she and Dad are looking at me, listening. “I’m smart, okay? If I feel like something is off, I’ll come home. You have to just trust me, now, okay?”
One more hug, this time from both of them at the same time.
And then, I shoulder my purse, head for the front door. Wes is on the porch, giving me space to say goodbye to my parents.
I open the storm door, and then pause and look back at my parents—I’ve never been away from them overnight. I’m a little scared, and a lot excited.
I blow them a kiss. “Bye, I love you guys. See you soon.”
