I went—at a run. She wasn’t hard to find, as she hadn’t gone far. Just across the street to the end of a dock where a mind-bogglingly huge mega yacht, an ocean-going, full staff and crew kind of yacht, was docked. Lexie was sitting at the very end of the pier, her feet kicking into space, her shoes beside her.
She didn’t turn around. “I amnotdiscussing any of what just happened, Myles, so if that’s why you’re here, you can just fuck right off.”
I plopped down beside her, moving her shoes to the other side. Propped my hands behind me, and watched a cruise ship that was anchored offshore, all lit up. I didn’t say a thing.
She finally eyed me, not turning her head. “What? What do you want, Myles?”
“What do I want?” I laughed. “A lot of things. Gotta be more specific.”
A bitter, angry sigh. “Withme, Myles. Here, now, in this moment—what the fuck do you want? Why are you sitting here, not talking?”
I shrugged. “Just keeping you company.”
“What if I don’t fuckingwantcompany?”
I looked at her. “Then you say to me, ‘Myles, you sexy, understanding hunk of a man, I really just need some time alone. Could you please give me a little bit of time and space? I’ll come find you when I’m ready.’”
She lifted her chin. I saw her wheels turning. Deciding. Did she really want to be alone? Or did she just not want to be questioned?
I held her gaze. “Have I, at any point, demanded answers or stories or explanations from you?”
“Myles—”
“HaveI, Alexandra?”
“You don’t get to—”
My temper flared. “The fuck I don’t! I think at this point I absolutely have earned the right to use your full name, Alexandra Rochelle Goode. Answer the goddamn question—have Ieverdemandedanythingfrom you?”
“No,” she whispered.
“And I’m not doing that now.”
“But you’re—”
“Sitting next to an upset woman who I care about a lot.”
“Dammit, Myles.”
“No, not dammit Myles. I give a shit about you, Lex. Bare minimum, you gotta let me have that without fuckin’ fighting me on it. I give a shit about you—how you feel, what you want. You know who else gives a shit about the person that is Alexandra Goode?” I gestured angrily back at the bar across the street. “Every fucking body else back there. Most especially your mom, Cassie, Charlie, and Crow. So all I’m sayin’ here is, you’re not fuckin’alonein dealin’ with whatever hell it is you’re holding on to.”
“I’m not—”
“I got a motherfucker of a bullshit sniffer, Lex, so don’t give me that. Yes, you fuckin’ are. I’m calling you on it. It’s as plain as the nipples on your tits that you’re harboring some seriously fucked damage inside you.”
She sniffed a laugh. “As plain as the nipples on my tits, huh? Isn’t the phrase supposed to be as plain as the nose on your face?”
I laughed. “Sure. But noses are boring, and while you’ve got a cute one, as far as body parts go, I much prefer your boobs. So I went with that.”
“Ah. Fair enough.” She nodded. “Anyway. You were saying?”
“I said it. It’s as obvious as whatever you want to say is real fuckin’ obvious that you’re holding on to some deep, dark, fucked-up, painful shit. I see it. I know it. I don’t know what it is, and I’m damn certain nobody else does. That’s fine. It’s your life, your history, and your choice to share or not. But know this, Lex, and hear me real goddamn clear: I will wait. I will continue to care about you. I will continue to not let you push me away. I will continue to let you deflect the hard conversations into sex and humor. I’ll let shit stand, for now. I’ll wait.” I fixed her eyes with mine. “But I can’t do it forever. Eventually I’m gonna need either truth and reciprocation, or to be cut loose. I ain’t sayin’ now. I ain’t giving you an ultimatum. I never will. But it’s inevitable. Same for your mom, your sisters, and anyone else in your life. Hard truth is, Lex, folks can only be kept at arm’s length for so long, and then they quit tryin’ to get any closer.”
She swallowed hard. “Fuck.” She blinked, her eyes wet. “So what are you saying, Myles?”
I shrugged. “I’m saying what I said. No deeper meaning, nothing left unsaid. I care about you. Could I have feelings that go deeper than just caring about you? Sure, Icould. Maybe I already do. I don’t know. What that means for you is up to you. I will not ask aboutanything, Lex. You’ve made it crystal fuckin’ clear you willnotdiscuss your past beyond safe surface shit. Okay. Your choice. The wrong one, if you were askin’ me, which I realize you’re not. But still, your choice. Do I want more with you? Somethin’ deeper? Yeah, I do. But I’m gonna take what I can get with you, and if that’s nothin’ but the best sex of my life, so be it. I’ll take it and I’ll fuckin’…I’ll treasure it. But just know that I’m offering more. It’s not unconditional, though. I do have a condition for offering you all of me—and that’s all of you in return.” I stood. Gazed down at her. “I’ll leave you to your thinkin’ and stewin’, now. I’m going back to the bar and I’m gonna hang with the crew, drink some whiskey, have some laughs, play with some kids, get to know Cassie and your Mom. As far as I’m concerned, this conversation is over. I’m not opening it again. I’m not gonna say or do shit to push or ask or plead or pull. I’ve said my piece, made myself pretty damn clear. Ball’s in your court. I will accept without question whatever you choose, Alexandra. But that’s a double-edged sword. This is me chasing you, this is me pursuing you. You try to play hard to get from here, you won’t find me chasin’ you.” I drilled my gaze into hers. “I fuckin’care, Lex. Iwantto know, Iwantto be there. I want more than just sex. But like I said, I’ll take what you’re offering until it runs out and I’ll milk it for all it’s worth.”
I walked away without a backward glance. “Your move, Lex.”
