“What do I want?” I repeated.
“Yeah. What do you want?”
“With you? Or…?”
He just shrugged. “Don’t think about your answer, just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.”
I laughed. “That’s hard for me.”
“Yeah, I’m realizing that.” He brushed hair away from my forehead, mouth, eyes, brushing it aside; my braid was coming loose, and he stripped the ponytail holder off the end, tossed it into the cubbyhole with his phone, and deftly freed my hair of the braid, spreading out like a cloud of ink on his pillow. “Damned lot of hair, girl.”
“I’ve never cut it, not significantly.”
“Fuckin’ beautiful.” He touched my eyelids ever so gently. “Close your eyes.”
I did so. Felt his breath on my shoulder. “Okay?”
“Don’t think about nothin’, just lay there and be you. Just float in your head.”
I snorted. “That’s like asking water to stop being wet.”
“Try.”
I focused on nothingness. Forced thoughts out of my head. Darkness, and nothing but Crow’s presence, his heat, his breath, his body.
“Now. Gonna ask you again, and this time, just…run your mouth. Don’t think, don’t filter. Just tell me…Charlie, what do you want?”
I spoke before I had a chance to stop myself. “I want you to go down on me again,” I blurted. “And I want you to be my first blowjob.”
He inhaled sharply through his nose, and my eyes flew open. “I think I can handle that.”
He was already climbing over me. I scrambled further up the bed, to give his big body room. I worked with him, curling my legs toward my belly so he could fit between my thighs, and then let my heels rest on his back. I slid my fingers into his hair—this, I remembered, too. His hair in my hands. Coarse, thick.
He didn’t dive right in like I expected. He took his time. Breathed on me, kissed the tenderest inner part of my thigh, an inch or two away from where my thigh met my hip, then over, just above my slit, to the other thigh. Teasing me. Huffing hot air on my sex. Then a finger dragged up through my slit, and I gasped. His fingers touched my clit, and I was struck by searing lightning. It coiled low in my belly, pushing through me, pulsing. His tongue found me, and I exploded, hips lifting already.
“Goddamn, woman. So fuckin’ sensitive. So fast to come.”
“Didn’t—didn’t know Icouldcome more than once at a time.”
“Yeah, you can. Twice last night—wanna make it three times?”
“Oh god, I might die,” I whimpered.
He laughed, and then kissed my nether lips. “Maybe. Be a good way to die, though.” Another kiss, to a different spot, lower.
“You’re teasing me,” I said. Glancing down at him I added, “I don’t know whether to love it or hate it.”
“Making you wait makes it more intense when you do come. It’s all about the buildup.”
“Then tease me till I can’t take it anymore,” I said, and wondered who that was speaking with my mouth. Saying such crazy things.
“Oooh, lady, you’re askin’ for it, now.” I heard the grin in his voice. “You sure about that?”
I nodded. Toyed with his hair. “I wanna know.”
“You asked for it.”
And so began the most insane few minutes of my life, thus far. He would lick and lick, and just when I started to rise, to push against his mouth, he would slide a finger into me and stimulate me a different way, getting me closer that way all over again, and then when I started to really enjoy it, he would change again. Go back to using his mouth, but not the same way as before. Different rhythm, different feel of his tongue. Again, and again, I got close, and he would change.
