Darren had never been very fit, let alone muscular. I’d loved him with all of my heart, mind, body, and soul, and always would, but in the deep, secret places in my soul, I knew I’d always felt a little twinge of desire for him to be…physically fitter. And seeing Lucas having made an obvious effort to change himself, I knew I was on the losing side of a battle to not like him even more.
Was I shallow?
“Just because you’re retired doesn’t mean you’re allowed to lay in bed all morning. It’s a beautiful day outside and I thought maybe you would like to go out on the water with me.”
“What, like swimming?”
I giggled, shaking my head. “No, silly. Paddling.”
“A boat?” He was obviously groggy, still.
I sighed, and headed for his kitchen, found his coffee maker and coffee supplies, and set about making coffee for him.
He plopped down at his kitchen table, and rested his chin in his hand, watching me. “Sorry, I ain’t exactly a morning person,” he said.
“It’s okay,” I said, leaning back against the counter near the coffee maker. “I am, and some people have found me to be a little much in the mornings.”
He rumbled a laugh. “Naw, it ain’t that. You’re all chipper and shit, and it’s cute. I’m just kind of a grumpy bear in the mornings.”
“As opposed to the sweet, easygoing darling you are the rest of the day?” I teased.
He snorted. “Yeah, well, we can’t all be happy little angels all the time.”
I felt a need to do something with my hands, something to occupy my attention. “Are you hungry?”
It was hard to tell under the beard, but he seemed to be blushing. “I, um. I’m actually not eating till lunch.”
“Oh?”
He shrugged a heavy shoulder. “Part of my whole plan to quit bein’ a fat walrus. I don’t eat until lunch, then I eat lean, healthy food, and then I kick my ass with exercise at least three days a week.”
“Well, it’s definitely working,” I said, meeting his eyes. “You look really good.”
He seemed like he was trying to hide a grin. “You think so? It’s a start.”
“It’s more than a start, Lucas. You really look great.”
“It’s not easy, but…I feel like it’ll be worth it.” He made a face, tipping his head to one side. “Hell, it already is. I feel better than I’ve felt in a long time.”
I hesitated. “Lucas, about the hike…”
He held up his hands to stop me. “Liv, I needed that. I can’t say I liked hearing it, but I needed it. Sometimes, you just need a good kick in the ass to get yourself motivated.”
“I just…I don’t want you to think I don’t like you for who you are, or that you have to be someone else in order to be my friend.”
He sighed. “To be totally honest, I am doing this in part for you. I like you, Liv. I like you a lot. And I want to be a man you…” He shrugged, trailing off and restarting. “I want to be better.”
“But you don’t have to be anything different to be my friend, and I’m worried I made you feel like you do.”
He shook his head. “You didn’t know I was doing anything different these last couple weeks, yet here you are.”
The coffee was mostly done brewing by then, so I hunted down a couple of mugs, poured us each a cup, and took one of the seats kitty-corner to his.
We sipped coffee in companionable silence for a few minutes, until it was broken by Lucas. “So, you wanna do what, now?”
“Paddleboard.”
“What the hell is that?”
