I sigh. “God, Aiden. This is stuff I have trouble figuring out myself, so it’s really hard to put in a way you’ll understand.” I spend a moment considering. “I…um…I mean, no. I wanted us to be a family.”
He stares off into the distance for a moment, then back at me. “Will you ever stop loving me?”
I grab him in a tight hug. “God, no, Aiden.No!Never! Not in a hundred million years.” I kiss his cheek, his forehead, his cheekbone. “No matter what happens, nevereverthink I couldeverstop loving you.”
He blinks hard. “You said you stopped loving Dad, so I thought maybe—”
“No, baby. No. That’s different. You’re my son—my baby. Even when you’re all grown up, you’ll be my baby boy. And I’ll love you as much then as I do now, if not more! Nothing could ever happen to change that.”
“What if Coach Trent got in love with you?”
My heart aches, stings. “Aiden, I…I don’t know.”
“Could you love himandme?”
I laugh. “Of course, Aiden!” I poke his belly. I tickle him. “And do I love GrandmaandPapa?”
He nods seriously. “Yes.”
“And do I love Auntie Cora?”
“Yes.” I see comprehension dawning. “Ohhhh.”
“So, I can love lots of people all at the same time.” I tap his chest. “Your heart can hold love for as many people as you want.”
He’s quiet, and I find myself hoping the barrage of questions is over.
“Mom?”
Crap.
“Yes, Aiden?”
“Did you like kissing Coach Trent?”
“I’m not sure that’s any of your business, Aiden.”
“Did you?”
I sigh. “Yes, Aiden. I did.”
“Do you want to kiss him again?”
“I…I don’t know.” Lies—yes, I do: I know without a doubt that I want to kiss Jamie again.
But I’m scared. So, so scared. The confusion in Aiden’s eyes…the probing questions he’s asking…I just don’t think I can handle this.
He frowns when he senses my hesitation. “Mom, you know how you tell me you always know when I’m lying?”
“Uh-huh…?” I really don’t like where this is going.
“Well, I can tell when you’re lying too.”
I laugh. “You’re too smart for your own good, buster. Or mine.” I sigh, tapping his nose. “Aiden, the thing with me and Mr. Trent is complicated, and I don’t know all the answers. But I do know that I love you, that I’ll always love you, and that no matter what happens, we’ll always have each other.”
Aiden gets up from the table to go brush his teeth, and I think I’m finally off the hook, but it seems he has something else to say. “Mom?”
I sigh. “Yes, Aiden?”
