Chapter 7
How Long Does It Take Until We Arrive at Full Health?
“Believe me, the reward is not so great without the struggle.”
—Wilma Rudolph
Aquestion that comes up often in my Facebook group is: How long does it take to lose all the weight we want? I wish there was an easy answer. In fact, I wish I could point to any part of this journey that has a simple answer.
First, each body is different. There are so many factors that dictate the rate your body will lose weight. I can tell you that, for most people, there is no rate fast enough. When you’re in the midst of the journey it’s going to seem like you’re farther from the finish than you actually are. It always seems like you’re never going to get there. But youwill. I would even bet that when you get to your goal, when you get to that moment when you feel so good it brings you to tears, that’s when you’ll look back and be able to enjoy the journey and all the moments when you almost gave up, but didn’t.
I remember about six months I was wogging with my family, and my husband turned around and snapped a photo of me. Here I was thinking I looked pretty darn healthy. I had already lost a considerable amount of weight and we had been doing a 5K race almost every month, so I was already starting to feel pretty strong. But that photo ... ugh—that photo made me feelhorrible. Although the top part of my body was starting to shrink, the bottom part of my body was holding on. My legs were rubbing together so badly I often had to cover them with powder and Body Glide.
To me, the photo showed a body that might never look normal. I was so upset that I wanted to give up. I cried my eyes out. Inside, I knew that the weight would eventually be shed from my legs, but it just wasn’t quick enough. I was working so hard, I was always moving, and yet my mind was screaming all of my insecurities so loudly: I’ll never be able to wear a “normal dress,” my top will end up a size 10 and my bottom will still be a 20—these are the lies we tell ourselves. This is the ugly stepsister in my brain.
Now, when my husband takes a photo of me when we’re all running together, my body actually looks pretty darn equal from top to bottom. Yes, my bottom half is still a bit larger, but I’ve learned to love it, especially with the help of my supermodel sisters like Ashley Graham, Iskra Lawrence, and Rosie Mercado. Have you seen those beautiful ladies? Wow!
When you feel like giving up, when it seems like nothing will work ... HOLD ON! Just hang on a bit longer, because that’s usually right when you have a breakthrough. This is the moment before you go down a size, or run your fastest mile, or drop that last stingy pound that was holding on as long as it could. Remember, when you feel like you’re at your last straw, that’s usually when your faith will be tested. But it’s only going to make you stronger. This is when you get upgraded from contestant to champion, from competitor to warrior.
Don’t give up on yourself, Mama! Fight! Talk back to the ugly stepsister in your head and let her know what’s up. Get yourself singing some Taylor Swift, pick up your glittery guitar, shake it off, and bash that nasty bitch straight in the face. She’s been talking enough during your life. Don’t listen to her anymore.
But yet, I can hear you all groaning. Why can’t there be some simple equation? If you know me, you know I hate doing math, but I’m going to offer you this as a baseline: each 25–50 lbs should take around a year to lose. Will some people lose faster? Yep! And will some lose more slowly? Absolutely! As I said before, this isn’t a one-size-fits-all thing. I wish I could tell you exactly why some people will shed their excess weight faster than others, because gosh, I wish I was one of those people! I’m a sloth in the weight-loss game. Even now with only about 10–15 lbs more to lose to be really comfortable, I’m giving myself a solid year to do it. I don’t want to eat into my muscle mass, and I want to tone, so I am giving myself and my body a full year to make that happen. If it doesn’t happen within that year, I plan to grace myself with another six months.
Listen, this weight and health mess didn’t happen in six days, six weeks, six months, or even six years. This is 36 years of wear and tear that I never want to deal with again. I’m determined to do it right. Maybe I’ve reached the ultimate level of stubbornness where I refuse to let a tiny setback claim victory over the war, and sisters, thisisa war. It’s a beautiful mess of a war, but it’s still a war, and my body is crisscrossed with the scars to prove it. I’m sure many of you have those, too. It’s okay, though, because one day we can all look at them together with pride, right? These are the stripes that have made me part of who I am today. These are the wounds that keep me going.
Don’t hide them—be proud with me!
If you are six months or a year into this, as I’m sure many of you are, and you start to feel discouraged, please reach out for a reality check. Please ask a husband, friend, sister, or other source of support to remind you how far you’ve come. Pull out that iPhone and find a photo from six months or a year ago, get into your Instagram collage app, and put those photos side by side with the new you. Photos are often a good reality check because even when the scale doesn’t show up for you, photos won’t lie. You can even make that your screensaver as a reminder: every time you look at your phone know that youaremaking progress, that youareworking towards better health.
I’ll keep saying it, this is a marathon, not a sprint.
For some of us it might be one of those ultra marathons; I know that’s how it feels for me. I feel like I’m rounding mile 40 or so, but I honestly wouldn’t change a thing now. I know the time I am investing in myself now will be more time I’ll get with my kids and grandkids later in my life. Each step spent wogging won’t ever be wasted. Each healthy food choice I make is one that will make my body feel better.
I recently saw a meme that said something like “I’ll never be on my deathbed wishing I hadn’t had that cupcake.” Well, I’m not so sure. As I watched my grandmother struggle with her diabetes, I’m pretty sure that no amount of heavenly cupcakes would have been worth her pain and suffering.
Do I think we should live a deprived life of treats? Heck, no! But I also know it’s much easier to pick which kind of hard we want to live with: personally, I would rather spend a few extra bucks or minutes making a treat for my family that is going to be both nourishing and satisfying versus one slowly making us sick. I always try to make the best choices I can, moment by moment, day by day. These choices add up, and your family’s health problems will slowly decrease, and you’ll all start feeling petty damn good, and then suddenly having a firm handle on your health will become second nature.
I often hear a collective groan when I suggest that getting to a solid point with your health can take years, but let’s be honest here: most of us have been living the same way for years and years and years. We’ve been handed a life of food convenience, and now we’re finally trying to swallow the price it came with. No, we won’t change overnight. Some of us might have to keep trying over and over again. It might take two years of walking before we have the strength to run a full mile without stopping, but THAT IS OKAY! Any step toward a healthier lifestyle is a step worth taking. If you’re one of those people who feel like you fail at everything, I totally understand. I’m one of you. The true test of success is hanging in there even when you feel like a total failure.
This isn’t about a quick fix. This is about not giving up on yourself no matter what. No matter the stress, occasion, or disaster trying to pull you off your health plan. Yes, that stuff will happen, and you might even give in to some of those old temptations, but that’s when you have to fight hardest, when you have to pick yourself up and make the best choices at the next meal. I believe in grace for our bodies, and for those of us with serious health and mental food issues, being kind to yourself and loving yourself is downright hard sometimes. The good news is thatyou are not alone.
Pick yourself up and wog on.
Youcando this!
You areworthit.
From the CDC (Center for Disease Control): Effects of Obesity
Risk of all causes of death are increased
High blood pressure (Hypertension)
High LDL cholesterol, low HDL cholesterol, or high levels of triglycerides (Dyslipidemia)
Type 2 diabetes
Coronary heart disease
