I shook my head.What the hell am I thinking?I couldn't afford distractions, not with Jeff. He was my partner, my business friend. Nothing else. It couldn't work.
Plus, he just wasn't Chase.
Yeah, but he's not far behind. My libido was piping up now, telling me what it wanted. And it wanted a taste of Jeff, a look at him without his long sleeve shirt, to feel his hands on me.
Jeff stood around six feet tall, maybe an inch less, but bulky. Where Chase was a toned, proportionate specimen of male perfection, Jeff was more naturally powerful, heavy upper body and thick, muscular legs, all padded with a layer of softness that belied the power of his body. I'd seen him in action, breaking up fights in the bar, lifting hundred-pound speakers easily. He had short, thick brown hair, expressive dark brown eyes, almost black, and a broad, attractive face. He wasn't a handsome man, not classically beautiful like Chase was, but rather rugged, attractive in a rough-hewn way. Jeff wasn't much for words, but he managed to express a huge amount with a simple look, a quirk of the eyebrow, a small smile, a narrowing of the eyes.
We got the equipment set up, got the first songs worked through and adjusted the quirks in the mix. Jeff and I did our first number together, "Summer Nights" fromGrease. We always killed that one. Everyone loves that song. It's catchy, fun. The older crowd knows it from when the movie first aired, and the younger ones either know it or just like the poppy tune. Jeff's high, clear tenor suits the male part, and I can push my voice high enough to fit the female thread.
But the spark, the heat and tension driving that drove my performance with Chase...that wasn't there. It was just missing, and I couldn't sell the performance like I usually did with Jeff.
He noticed.
When we took our break in the closed, darkened bar kitchen, he followed me with a pair of Jaeger shots.
"You were flat at the end," he remarked, handing me my shot.
I downed it and gave him the rocks glass back. Jeff was blunt, and he always had been. I knew it, and it didn't usually bother me.
"Well, awesome," I snapped, feeling a sudden rush of irritation. "Thanks for that."
Jeff gave me a puzzled look. He tells me when I'm flat; I tell him.
"I didn't mean it like that, and you know it. Just letting you know." He muttered it, irritated.
"Well next time keep your opinions to your goddamn self. I know when I'm flat."
"What the hell's your problem?"
"None of your fucking business, Jeff."
His eyes narrowed and his mouth turned down. The confused hurt on his face was palpable. I felt bad, knowing he'd done nothing to deserve my irritation.
"Jesus, Anna. Take a pill. Goddamn." He stuffed his phone back in his pocket and went back out into the bustle and noise of the bar.
Great, I thought.Now I've pissed him off.
The last thing I wanted to do was apologize, but I didn't want Jeff mad at me. He wouldn't say anything, just give me hard, sad glances and keep it to himself. It was worse than being yelled at.
I followed him out and cornered him behind the mixer. "Jeff, I'm sorry." My hand was on his arm; I hadn't meant to touch him, but now I couldn't move my hand away. "I'm being bitchy, and it's not your fault."
He shrugged, not looking at me directly, but over my shoulder. "No big. We all have bad days."
"Yeah, well, this may end up being more than a bad day, just fair warning." I didn't want to end up talking about it. "So, if I'm a bitch to you, don't take it personally."
Jeff eyed me, then, a long, searching look. He had his suspicions what was bothering me I think. He was too spare with his words and emotions to ask though.
"We can talk about it after. I'll buy."
I shrugged, uncomfortable. Ididwant to talk about it, actually, but I wasn't sure Jeff was the right person.
"Maybe. We'll see. It's just one of those things, you know?"
Jeff lifted an eyebrow at my vague statement. "Well, the offer stands."
We made it through the night, and I managed to keep my irritability to a minimum. I only snapped at Jeff few times.
When the customers were mostly gone and it was time to pack the equipment, Jeff waved me away.
