“Couldn’t you tell?”
“Communication and consent are important with this kind of play, Linnea. I won’t assume you like something unless you tell us.” I liked his sincerity and seriousness. That “play” was structured with consent and rules so that no one would get hurt.
At least physically.
Emotionally was yet to be determined.
I bit my lip and looked between them, noting that Adam had tensed beneath me as if he realized the implication of his words.
“Does this mean we’ll do this again?” I asked.
The mood crashed down over our heads. In seconds, the warm intimacy had transformed into an almost hostile tension.
“You know I cannot afford to do anything stupid,” Adam said carefully, not looking at either of us.
“Stupid,” Sebastian repeated quietly.
I felt his hurt and my own.
“This wasn’t stupid,” I countered, holding his hand where it lay on my chest. “It felt…” I sucked in a breath. “It felt almost necessary.”
“You know it’s stupid,” Adam argued, carefully slipping out from under me so he could stand and pace. “Anyone out there could have taken photos of us dancing like that and given credence to Oscar’s campaign against me.”
“Is it really so bad if it comes out that you’re bisexual?” I tentatively asked.
Until now, I hadn’t felt he would talk with me honestly about it.
His laugh was bitter. “Do you know Liam James?”
I frowned. “No?”
“No,” he agreed with a curt nod. “He was a talented young actor who starred inYoung Bucksand had a handful of huge projects lined up. The paps caught him in a back alley with one of his childhood buddies. A man. The studio dropped him the next day.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but Adam was on a roll. “Rupert Everett has openly discussed how coming out impacted his career in Hollywood. He stopped getting juicy roles and leading characters.”
“Wasn’t that in the ’90s?” I asked. “Times are—”
“Don’t say times are different,” he snapped. “People in the LGBTQIA+ community are three times as likely to commit suicide.” His voice cracked, and his hands clenched so tightly they went white. “Mississippi passed a law in2016that made itlegal for businesses, doctors, and government officials to deny service to LGBTQIA+ people. Almost one in four experience online bullying. The annual report the FBI releases shows that hate crimes against us are still at record-breaking high numbers. Iknowsomeone who killed themselves because they felt they could not belong just because they were queer. You want to tell me things are different? Yes, sure, they get better all the time, but is better ever going to be enough?”
He was breathing so heavily, I wondered if he was on the edge of a panic attack. I’d never had one before, but one of my uncles was a war veteran, and I’d been there for a few of his episodes.
“I’m on your side, Adam,” I said softly, rolling to a seated position so I could face him with all of my earnestness. “I know it’s hard, and it’s unfair that you have to think of how your sexuality might impact your career. But how is your career impacting your mental health? Your happiness?”
“God, you’re naive,” he bit out, but he looked like a cornered animal.
There was a knock on the door. It exploded through the room like a grenade.
Adam, already spooked, immediately put himself to rights.
Sebastian and I stood to adjust our own clothing more slowly, and by the time we were passably presentable, Adam was already striding toward the door. I couldn’t find my torn underwear, but I caught a flash of white lace in Adam’s back pocket and felt a flare of hope that he’d taken them out of some kind of sentimentality.
He opened the door briskly, nodded at Giselle, who stood there with Sinclair, and then brushed past them as he left.
Giselle winced as she looked after him and then over to us.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I didn’t mean to disturb, but Sin and I have to get home to relieve the babysitter, and I wanted to say goodbye…I should have texted.”
“Nonsense,” Sebastian said with a wide grin, that movie-star smile that charmed everyone who saw it.
